Man, you know what I actually really need?

I need a big old bottle of T1s and a screwdriver.

That fixes shit well enough more often than not, and worst comes to worst, I'll just fall asleep for a bit and wake up tomorrow, maybe feeling more like I want to be alive.

Shame I don't have ten fucking dollars anymore. I need to go collect my money from the neighbors tomorrow. It's been a few months and I'm betting I could knock myself right on my ass quite satisfactorily.

Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat.