Yeah, ok, that was pretty mean.
Don't drink that much again, Steve-o.
19.7.14
Blogging, at this precise moment, feels pretty pointless. I don't really need to write out and read over my feelings on the topic at hand to figure out a course of action, or how I really feel about the situation. It took like three sentences to figure that out.
So, what motivates me to do it? I don't know. It's sometimes nice to air out your satisfaction at accomplishing something, rather than reflecting on what's going wrong, I guess. But I really don't know.
So, I guess that's what i'll say instead.
So, what motivates me to do it? I don't know. It's sometimes nice to air out your satisfaction at accomplishing something, rather than reflecting on what's going wrong, I guess. But I really don't know.
So, I guess that's what i'll say instead.
18.7.14
And we sink, and we drown.
The problem with PBS' broadcasts are that they have absolutely no budget to access anything really, really cool, so they will take the most mundane of subjects, and try to make it far more interesting that in really is.
Take the Nova series, which features such awesome sounding films as:
NOVA: Why do ships sink?
As the opening credits rolled, I said to myself "Gee, I sure hope the hour long answer to this question isn't 'water'".
So, I watched this whole thing about why the Titanic sank, and why the Concordia sank, and while all these other, lesser ships sank in the early 90s.
Now, I may not be your average PBS viewer, but I thought it was pretty clear within the first three seconds that:
1. The Titanic sank because no one was paying attention and they hit an iceberg.
2. The Concordia sank because the captain was an idiot and seems to have just been curious as to what a sinking ship looks like from the safety of a lifeboat. If you remember that huge train crash that happened a few years ago because the conductor (literally) just wanted to see how fast it would go, then it starts to become clear that Italians should not be in charge of mass transport systems. note, I may be thinking of Spain, but am too lazy to check.
3. The other two ships sunk because they hit really big waves and were poorly designed, and the crew abandoned them instantly without trying to stop leaks or warn the passengers.
Based on these three points, I concluded that most ships sink because of captain error, and that some cruise ships sink because of inherent and easily corrected design flaws. I also concluded that should I ever find myself on one (I'm a sail kinda guy anyway), and should anything seem even remotely wrong, I should get into the closest lifeboat even if people tell me I'm crazy.
But no, that's not at all the documentary was trying to say. Obviously, highly paid captains are simply expected to be inept, so I was treated to a whole hour of low budget tests.
First, we had to see if the steel was at fault. Was it any better than that of the Titanic? After all, it's 2014, we should be able to build ships that can just plow through insignificant things like coral reefs, right?
Well, it turns out that yes, steel is better nowadays, but no, you can't build something that will still float which can withstand plowing it's million-ton bulk into a giant rock at 20 miles an hour. Guess that settles the oh so relevant debate.
Then, we got to hear about how the Titanic sunk because it had a poor bulkhead design. How did new ships stand up to that? Well, after a century of R&D, bulkheads now extend to the top of the ship, so yeah, that particular problem is solved. But unfortunately, water can still pass into the pipes and sink the ship by coming up through the toilets.
And it went on and on.
Finally, in the end, they talked about the two ships that sank because of obvious crew neglect and some really big waves.
"Finally, we'll find out that it's usually crew error that causes these ships to sink!" I thought, "There will be at least some consistent point to all this."
Unfortunately, no, I was wrong. The grand point was indeed that ships sink because they fill with fucking water, and that will always be the way it is.
Anyway, now I'm watching some mining documentary, which is already hilariously fucking horrible. It is kind of fun to hear an Indian dude say the exact words "In the beginning, Canada was private property. All of the western land was owned by the Hudson Bay Company of England".
Thanks, PBS. I'm glad you're free.
I think I will watch that Rock of Ages movie that Lisa was watching the other day. It's pretty terrible too (a musical where they were too lazy to even try to write a couple of shitty songs?), but that's simply because I find the concept kind of dumb. It does make decent background for other things, though.
Take the Nova series, which features such awesome sounding films as:
NOVA: Why do ships sink?
As the opening credits rolled, I said to myself "Gee, I sure hope the hour long answer to this question isn't 'water'".
So, I watched this whole thing about why the Titanic sank, and why the Concordia sank, and while all these other, lesser ships sank in the early 90s.
Now, I may not be your average PBS viewer, but I thought it was pretty clear within the first three seconds that:
1. The Titanic sank because no one was paying attention and they hit an iceberg.
2. The Concordia sank because the captain was an idiot and seems to have just been curious as to what a sinking ship looks like from the safety of a lifeboat. If you remember that huge train crash that happened a few years ago because the conductor (literally) just wanted to see how fast it would go, then it starts to become clear that Italians should not be in charge of mass transport systems. note, I may be thinking of Spain, but am too lazy to check.
3. The other two ships sunk because they hit really big waves and were poorly designed, and the crew abandoned them instantly without trying to stop leaks or warn the passengers.
Based on these three points, I concluded that most ships sink because of captain error, and that some cruise ships sink because of inherent and easily corrected design flaws. I also concluded that should I ever find myself on one (I'm a sail kinda guy anyway), and should anything seem even remotely wrong, I should get into the closest lifeboat even if people tell me I'm crazy.
But no, that's not at all the documentary was trying to say. Obviously, highly paid captains are simply expected to be inept, so I was treated to a whole hour of low budget tests.
First, we had to see if the steel was at fault. Was it any better than that of the Titanic? After all, it's 2014, we should be able to build ships that can just plow through insignificant things like coral reefs, right?
Well, it turns out that yes, steel is better nowadays, but no, you can't build something that will still float which can withstand plowing it's million-ton bulk into a giant rock at 20 miles an hour. Guess that settles the oh so relevant debate.
Then, we got to hear about how the Titanic sunk because it had a poor bulkhead design. How did new ships stand up to that? Well, after a century of R&D, bulkheads now extend to the top of the ship, so yeah, that particular problem is solved. But unfortunately, water can still pass into the pipes and sink the ship by coming up through the toilets.
And it went on and on.
Finally, in the end, they talked about the two ships that sank because of obvious crew neglect and some really big waves.
"Finally, we'll find out that it's usually crew error that causes these ships to sink!" I thought, "There will be at least some consistent point to all this."
Unfortunately, no, I was wrong. The grand point was indeed that ships sink because they fill with fucking water, and that will always be the way it is.
Anyway, now I'm watching some mining documentary, which is already hilariously fucking horrible. It is kind of fun to hear an Indian dude say the exact words "In the beginning, Canada was private property. All of the western land was owned by the Hudson Bay Company of England".
Thanks, PBS. I'm glad you're free.
I think I will watch that Rock of Ages movie that Lisa was watching the other day. It's pretty terrible too (a musical where they were too lazy to even try to write a couple of shitty songs?), but that's simply because I find the concept kind of dumb. It does make decent background for other things, though.
11.7.14
To put it in the terms you would:
This is the exact issue that arises the minute you begin to alter the parameters of any given relationship. The moment a single factor is modified from it's original form, complications arise that ruin the future potential for any sort of meaningful friendship.
To put it in the terms I like to use:
Our friendship was based around two things:
Alchohol
and
Facebook
If you'd take a minute to look at things, you'd realize that the best conversations we've ever had have gone as follows:
You have a shit night.
I have an excellent night, and am quite fucking hammered.
For whatever reason, likely some need for any kind of human contact, you will comment or like absolutely everything I post on facebook, no matter how ridiculous or inane.
Then, I will say "hi", because I'm hammered and no one else is online - or at least, that's how the first few times went, because to be pretty honest, I do actually find you quite interesting and enjoy talking to you.
You lay out some big problem. Because I am a charming son of a bitch when you don't know me well, I tell you exactly what you want to hear. You then say things like, and I quote:
"And also I have to say you remind me a lot of myself. Youre like if I was older wiser edgier and also a dude"
and
"Awesome. I came into this conversation wanting to die and I came out of it giving no fucks."
which is ridiculously awesome, because that sort of thing feeds my ego, which is really all I want out of any sort of relationship anyway. I like being flattered needlessly, and making people feel better about things that I really don't care about at all - this is probably my "thing".
So, because this is generally the basis of our total conversations to this point, I am immensely comfortable around you.
So what the fuck was this all about tonight? Don't get me wrong - the initial error was all mine, but absolutely everything else that happened was more your fault than mine.
So, goodbye to what I thought was a pretty good friendship. I'm sorry if you or anyone else misunderstood my intentions - I thought I made it pretty clear that I liked how everything was, so I'm really not sure what you were expecting.
Oh well. At least sangria is only about half as shitty as I remember.
This is the exact issue that arises the minute you begin to alter the parameters of any given relationship. The moment a single factor is modified from it's original form, complications arise that ruin the future potential for any sort of meaningful friendship.
To put it in the terms I like to use:
Our friendship was based around two things:
Alchohol
and
If you'd take a minute to look at things, you'd realize that the best conversations we've ever had have gone as follows:
You have a shit night.
I have an excellent night, and am quite fucking hammered.
For whatever reason, likely some need for any kind of human contact, you will comment or like absolutely everything I post on facebook, no matter how ridiculous or inane.
Then, I will say "hi", because I'm hammered and no one else is online - or at least, that's how the first few times went, because to be pretty honest, I do actually find you quite interesting and enjoy talking to you.
You lay out some big problem. Because I am a charming son of a bitch when you don't know me well, I tell you exactly what you want to hear. You then say things like, and I quote:
"And also I have to say you remind me a lot of myself. Youre like if I was older wiser edgier and also a dude"
and
"Awesome. I came into this conversation wanting to die and I came out of it giving no fucks."
which is ridiculously awesome, because that sort of thing feeds my ego, which is really all I want out of any sort of relationship anyway. I like being flattered needlessly, and making people feel better about things that I really don't care about at all - this is probably my "thing".
So, because this is generally the basis of our total conversations to this point, I am immensely comfortable around you.
So what the fuck was this all about tonight? Don't get me wrong - the initial error was all mine, but absolutely everything else that happened was more your fault than mine.
So, goodbye to what I thought was a pretty good friendship. I'm sorry if you or anyone else misunderstood my intentions - I thought I made it pretty clear that I liked how everything was, so I'm really not sure what you were expecting.
Oh well. At least sangria is only about half as shitty as I remember.
10.7.14
7.7.14
Tomorrow, we go to the windmills, to do... windmill things? Yes, that. Then, GET TO THE CHOPPER, even though it's not really realistically going anywhere fast without us. Then, probably KFC, beers, and maybe something that explodes, boom!
Wine, my photon-generated friend (there is apparently no such word as "photonly"), is the most deceptive of the alcohols. It doesn't sneak up on you so much as do nothing at all until you try to focus on something for more than three or four seconds.
Then, it's all photonically and sedons and other such non-wirds.
This summer bothers me. I lack a car, and this inhibits most of the things I'd like to do in the summer, namely drive out into the middle of nowhere by myself and sleep in the truck.
Instead, this summer will be like last summer, or the summer before. I am FUCKING BUSY, which annoys me.
I would have thought no car would be an impediment to a social life, but now that I'm forced into getting rides, I'm also being forced to spend my weekends doing things with other people. Which I will grudgingly admit has kind of been a lot of fun recently. Usually though, I'd like a day a week where I can do nothing, and I'm not getting it right now.
Did you know that simulating oral sex in Dairy Queen is a good way to get many, many disapproving looks from old people? I sure did. Kinda seems like common sense, really. People are weird.
I just looked in a mirror for the first time in what seems like whatever. I look old now, and right now, would not probably recognize myself on the street. Not that I spent much time looking at myself anyway.
Here's me now:
Me and Flo look so unimpressed because we've been standing like this for seven or eight minutes.
Rocco looks goofy because he is, in the best ways.
I am acting like an old Italian man. Rocco is doing my bidding. Flo looks unimpressed either because I'm Italian or just finished making out with the muffler that's behind me (not pictured.
Don't ask about the hat. It started out ironically, but actually looks fucking good, so fuck you.
Oh, more interesting!
Wine, my photon-generated friend (there is apparently no such word as "photonly"), is the most deceptive of the alcohols. It doesn't sneak up on you so much as do nothing at all until you try to focus on something for more than three or four seconds.
Then, it's all photonically and sedons and other such non-wirds.
This summer bothers me. I lack a car, and this inhibits most of the things I'd like to do in the summer, namely drive out into the middle of nowhere by myself and sleep in the truck.
Instead, this summer will be like last summer, or the summer before. I am FUCKING BUSY, which annoys me.
I would have thought no car would be an impediment to a social life, but now that I'm forced into getting rides, I'm also being forced to spend my weekends doing things with other people. Which I will grudgingly admit has kind of been a lot of fun recently. Usually though, I'd like a day a week where I can do nothing, and I'm not getting it right now.
Did you know that simulating oral sex in Dairy Queen is a good way to get many, many disapproving looks from old people? I sure did. Kinda seems like common sense, really. People are weird.
I just looked in a mirror for the first time in what seems like whatever. I look old now, and right now, would not probably recognize myself on the street. Not that I spent much time looking at myself anyway.
Here's me now:
Me and Flo look so unimpressed because we've been standing like this for seven or eight minutes.
Rocco looks goofy because he is, in the best ways.
I am acting like an old Italian man. Rocco is doing my bidding. Flo looks unimpressed either because I'm Italian or just finished making out with the muffler that's behind me (not pictured.
Don't ask about the hat. It started out ironically, but actually looks fucking good, so fuck you.
Oh, more interesting!
4.7.14
This seems like one of those posts that should start with "I remember when we first met...", but in all truth, I have no fucking clue when that was. I think you had a pink cap on and a Zeller's Club, because it was like 1996 or something - we're going back like 20 years here, what do you want from me?
Anyway, I don't remember the meeting, but I do remember when we started hanging out regularly. Which, yeah, in retrospect, was pretty fucking odd given the age difference.
I feel like writing cause I'm sitting here, thinking, and it's usually better to associate the two than not. But it's late, and probably easier just to smoke a bowl and watch something, so perhaps this will be something to revisit tomorrow, if I still feel writey. I will sum up.
There is no moral to this story - this is one of those big events that seems like it should have some great lesson in it, or at least some kind of enlighteningly ironic outcome, but I've spent a bit of time thinking about the whole thing, and no matter which way I twist it, there is no big message here. We all lose sometimes? People who love Good Charlotte don't generally have great taste? Drugs are bad?
I don't know. I think you and the whole thing were probably the first big mysteries in my life. That's a mighty decent contribution.
Anyway, I don't remember the meeting, but I do remember when we started hanging out regularly. Which, yeah, in retrospect, was pretty fucking odd given the age difference.
I feel like writing cause I'm sitting here, thinking, and it's usually better to associate the two than not. But it's late, and probably easier just to smoke a bowl and watch something, so perhaps this will be something to revisit tomorrow, if I still feel writey. I will sum up.
There is no moral to this story - this is one of those big events that seems like it should have some great lesson in it, or at least some kind of enlighteningly ironic outcome, but I've spent a bit of time thinking about the whole thing, and no matter which way I twist it, there is no big message here. We all lose sometimes? People who love Good Charlotte don't generally have great taste? Drugs are bad?
I don't know. I think you and the whole thing were probably the first big mysteries in my life. That's a mighty decent contribution.
I don't know if you remember the question, but this would seem to be the answer
I am shockingly lucid for this hour in the morning.
Anyway, something else now. It's a quiet, quiet night, and I need something to do. So blog writing, yes! I have not written much of anything anywhere for a while, so perhaps it will be fun and profitable. Or something.
Sometimes it feels like life is all about floating around in this really weird, ocean-like reality, all alone on a rowboat surrounded by other people in their own boats, equipped with a magic compass that tells me exactly where I'm headed for, but a map that doesn't actually tell me where "where" is, or what I'll find when I get there.
Along the way, you bump into all kinds of wondrous islands, and perilous rocks, and little bits of other peoples' boats who've wrecked along the way.
Maybe sometimes I can wiggle my course a little, but in the end, the ocean currents will always win, and even if sometimes that compass is pointed towards some nasty looking rocks I can see from a mile away, there isn't always much or anything I can do about it.
Sometimes, it seems like maybe the compass isn't showing me where the boat is headed, but rather the boat is headed towards whatever the compass decides to point towards.
Sometimes, it's easy to get too wrapped up in looking at the map and trying to chart a course to some nice, solid land, only to look up and realize the boat's turned itself around and nowhere near where I expected it to be.
Sometimes, much energy is expended trying to paddle over to someone else's boat, but it almost always seems like either no one's in there, the occupant is a raving lunatic who's drank too much saltwater, or their boat is sinking, and all they want is yours.
Sometimes, it's just a little too easy to to just give up on it, smoke all the magic plants I found on that one island over there, and fall asleep in the sun. Then everything gets horribly sunburnt. I'm not even sure there's an metaphoric meaning here - I'm just horribly sunburned, and it sucks.
On a closely related note, I've thought about it lots, and I think the pivotal thing I should have said was "Nein Fraulien, ich bin eine vampire." Live and learn, I guess.
I am slightly enamoured with my new friends. There's just something appealing about meeting other nutballs who will top absolutely every absurd thing you do. I mean, how many other people do I know who will do the hustle with me? How many people do I know who offer you beer at 7:30 in the morning, then spend the day getting hammered and cruising around the countryside in a weird European partybus? I think this is why I like hanging out with Rocco so much - he's not nuts like these guys, but he's used to it and doesn't mind me being nuts. Not even in a patronizing way - he just enjoys the absurd, something which I think is really rare in the types of people I know.
I think the best part about these guys is that they aren't actually really some crazy fucked up people - they are all really rich, very nice, smart folks, they just like having a good time. I was interested in going on this whole Swiss trip thing should it ever materialize, but now it seems like it will be ridonkulously fun.
I believe Cambodia has been shuffled out of the present lead for next place to go. I'm pretty sure they have bigass spiders there anyway.
Speaking of bigass spiders, Rocco has one in his bathroom, which he named something I was too disturbed by to remember. I told him he should have named it "Squished", which seemed to amuse, then horrify him, as he explained that Shelob (which I'm pretty sure is the name he gave it) was pregnant. I informed him that no, I did not actually kill it because it was too fucking huge to hit with my shoe, and also on the ceiling. I suggested he go do the deed before he wound up with thousands of baby Shelobs living in his walls, to which he informed me he was not worried, as they would all die in the winter.
I AM PRETTY FUCKING SURE THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. SOME SPIDERS CAN LIVE UNDER SNOW FOR SIX MONTHS. YOUR WARM HOUSE IS NO OBSTICLE TO THEM.
Note to self - do not go to Rocco's after October.
I've been watching a lot of Red Vs. Blue on Netflix. By watching, I mean playing in the background while I do other things, which is how most of my TV seems to be absorbed since I've run out of good things on Netflix. For a show made from a videogame I wasn't super interested in ten years ago, it's actually fairly entertaining.
I was over at Devon's the other day, and while we were smoking in the shed, we got on the topic of how him and Kris met. Yes, bookstore Kris. She is married now, if you didn't know.
Apparently, the whole time I was there and it seemed like they were having an affair, they really actually were kind of having an affair. Which is fucking surprising, because neither is really the type.
it's weird where some people find happiness. Kris likes control, and is in some ways an angry person. A good person, absolutely, and generally very nice, but with a very specific "life code" type thing in her head, and very little tolerance for those who go against it.
Devon is kind of the exact opposite of all that. He's pretty meh about things, one of those drug councillors who's completely hooked on pot.
I know they say opposites attract, but I just don't see how that ever worked to begin with. Kris should have killed him off the hop, and failing that, Dev should have at least gone a little nuts by now. Instead, they compromise, and work things out, and generally get along well.
Makes me wonder how much of a successful relationship is really attraction or commonalities, or more just finding someone with the same dysfunctions and issues you have (which are there in this case, but not really my business to share), and then making everything else work around that because it's rare to find someone who relates.
Which all kind of really makes me question what the hell I really want out of anything like that.
Typically, I think the answer to this is "excitement". I don't actually really like dating anyone ever, I just like the success of getting them to want to date me. Perhaps if I'd had a different upbringing, the whole "I win power trip thing" would come from sex like it kinda seems like it's supposed to, but for me that whole aspect is pretty irrelevant. I mean, I think I maybe enjoy rougher stuff a little more simply because normal stuff is only interesting if there is an emotional connection, but I'm pretty content not to actually ever really do anything at all after the initial moment of emotional "Ha, I got ya" - honestly, sex at this point in my life is something that happens more because I don't want whomever I'm with to feel unwanted and generally have little better to do, not because I have a ton of interest in doing it or am really all that good at it anymore.
I'm not really sure this is any kind of good stance to have on relationships, because it's obviously selfish, but at the same time, I think the people I date are generally fairly happy, and it's not as though my enjoyment comes from hurting them. I've dated people I've had absolutely no interest in simply because it would be mean to dump them and I really think more people prefer the "well, there's tons of much better people for you out there" line than the explanation of "well, honestly, I just wanted to see if you'd fall for it". Or even the whole "you won't stop calling, so I'll be an ass now" routine, because at least it's pretty final.
All that said, what stance should I have? A conventional relationship is just unexciting. As a relatively relevant example, Lisa is a pretty great girlfriend, attractive, and usually looks out for me, but at the same time, am I really going to spend the rest of my life here? Really? It just seems so unexciting.
I know that's all wrong, but what am I supposed to do about it? The fact that I have someone to stick with me no matter what is the whole reason I find it all uninteresting. When I couldn't have her, she was the most desirable thing on the planet.
Maybe that's really the trick, there. Find something or someone that the drawbacks of losing beat out the "drawbacks" of keeping. I'm not sure how realistic that concept even is, as that sounds like one rare, rare bird, but it seems easier than trying to rewire myself.
And maybe that's all it is. I think I lived most of my life with a pretty naïve, romantic version of how things should be, and I don't think it's super hard to see how I got from there to here. Maybe it's just a matter of staying the course.
I lean towards this hard work, hold the course thing. While I don't think Lisa really relates to me or knows me that well, neither does anyone else, really, and she certainly tries harder than anyone I've ever met, and I see no reason that tremendous effort shouldn't be rewarded.
Wow, this all got very long and uncomfortable, and is not really the kind of thing that goes on this particular blog. I blame this week - it's been eerily reminiscent of many events I have not thought of in a long time. The problem with old echoes bouncing around in your head is that they tend to keep going till the simply bounce themselves out.
Anyway, maybe I will call that good, though I could probably go on for a while about the first time I heard this song. There are other places in need of rambles.
Anyway, something else now. It's a quiet, quiet night, and I need something to do. So blog writing, yes! I have not written much of anything anywhere for a while, so perhaps it will be fun and profitable. Or something.
Sometimes it feels like life is all about floating around in this really weird, ocean-like reality, all alone on a rowboat surrounded by other people in their own boats, equipped with a magic compass that tells me exactly where I'm headed for, but a map that doesn't actually tell me where "where" is, or what I'll find when I get there.
Along the way, you bump into all kinds of wondrous islands, and perilous rocks, and little bits of other peoples' boats who've wrecked along the way.
Maybe sometimes I can wiggle my course a little, but in the end, the ocean currents will always win, and even if sometimes that compass is pointed towards some nasty looking rocks I can see from a mile away, there isn't always much or anything I can do about it.
Sometimes, it seems like maybe the compass isn't showing me where the boat is headed, but rather the boat is headed towards whatever the compass decides to point towards.
Sometimes, it's easy to get too wrapped up in looking at the map and trying to chart a course to some nice, solid land, only to look up and realize the boat's turned itself around and nowhere near where I expected it to be.
Sometimes, much energy is expended trying to paddle over to someone else's boat, but it almost always seems like either no one's in there, the occupant is a raving lunatic who's drank too much saltwater, or their boat is sinking, and all they want is yours.
Sometimes, it's just a little too easy to to just give up on it, smoke all the magic plants I found on that one island over there, and fall asleep in the sun. Then everything gets horribly sunburnt. I'm not even sure there's an metaphoric meaning here - I'm just horribly sunburned, and it sucks.
On a closely related note, I've thought about it lots, and I think the pivotal thing I should have said was "Nein Fraulien, ich bin eine vampire." Live and learn, I guess.
I am slightly enamoured with my new friends. There's just something appealing about meeting other nutballs who will top absolutely every absurd thing you do. I mean, how many other people do I know who will do the hustle with me? How many people do I know who offer you beer at 7:30 in the morning, then spend the day getting hammered and cruising around the countryside in a weird European partybus? I think this is why I like hanging out with Rocco so much - he's not nuts like these guys, but he's used to it and doesn't mind me being nuts. Not even in a patronizing way - he just enjoys the absurd, something which I think is really rare in the types of people I know.
I think the best part about these guys is that they aren't actually really some crazy fucked up people - they are all really rich, very nice, smart folks, they just like having a good time. I was interested in going on this whole Swiss trip thing should it ever materialize, but now it seems like it will be ridonkulously fun.
I believe Cambodia has been shuffled out of the present lead for next place to go. I'm pretty sure they have bigass spiders there anyway.
Speaking of bigass spiders, Rocco has one in his bathroom, which he named something I was too disturbed by to remember. I told him he should have named it "Squished", which seemed to amuse, then horrify him, as he explained that Shelob (which I'm pretty sure is the name he gave it) was pregnant. I informed him that no, I did not actually kill it because it was too fucking huge to hit with my shoe, and also on the ceiling. I suggested he go do the deed before he wound up with thousands of baby Shelobs living in his walls, to which he informed me he was not worried, as they would all die in the winter.
I AM PRETTY FUCKING SURE THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. SOME SPIDERS CAN LIVE UNDER SNOW FOR SIX MONTHS. YOUR WARM HOUSE IS NO OBSTICLE TO THEM.
Note to self - do not go to Rocco's after October.
I've been watching a lot of Red Vs. Blue on Netflix. By watching, I mean playing in the background while I do other things, which is how most of my TV seems to be absorbed since I've run out of good things on Netflix. For a show made from a videogame I wasn't super interested in ten years ago, it's actually fairly entertaining.
I was over at Devon's the other day, and while we were smoking in the shed, we got on the topic of how him and Kris met. Yes, bookstore Kris. She is married now, if you didn't know.
Apparently, the whole time I was there and it seemed like they were having an affair, they really actually were kind of having an affair. Which is fucking surprising, because neither is really the type.
it's weird where some people find happiness. Kris likes control, and is in some ways an angry person. A good person, absolutely, and generally very nice, but with a very specific "life code" type thing in her head, and very little tolerance for those who go against it.
Devon is kind of the exact opposite of all that. He's pretty meh about things, one of those drug councillors who's completely hooked on pot.
I know they say opposites attract, but I just don't see how that ever worked to begin with. Kris should have killed him off the hop, and failing that, Dev should have at least gone a little nuts by now. Instead, they compromise, and work things out, and generally get along well.
Makes me wonder how much of a successful relationship is really attraction or commonalities, or more just finding someone with the same dysfunctions and issues you have (which are there in this case, but not really my business to share), and then making everything else work around that because it's rare to find someone who relates.
Which all kind of really makes me question what the hell I really want out of anything like that.
Typically, I think the answer to this is "excitement". I don't actually really like dating anyone ever, I just like the success of getting them to want to date me. Perhaps if I'd had a different upbringing, the whole "I win power trip thing" would come from sex like it kinda seems like it's supposed to, but for me that whole aspect is pretty irrelevant. I mean, I think I maybe enjoy rougher stuff a little more simply because normal stuff is only interesting if there is an emotional connection, but I'm pretty content not to actually ever really do anything at all after the initial moment of emotional "Ha, I got ya" - honestly, sex at this point in my life is something that happens more because I don't want whomever I'm with to feel unwanted and generally have little better to do, not because I have a ton of interest in doing it or am really all that good at it anymore.
I'm not really sure this is any kind of good stance to have on relationships, because it's obviously selfish, but at the same time, I think the people I date are generally fairly happy, and it's not as though my enjoyment comes from hurting them. I've dated people I've had absolutely no interest in simply because it would be mean to dump them and I really think more people prefer the "well, there's tons of much better people for you out there" line than the explanation of "well, honestly, I just wanted to see if you'd fall for it". Or even the whole "you won't stop calling, so I'll be an ass now" routine, because at least it's pretty final.
All that said, what stance should I have? A conventional relationship is just unexciting. As a relatively relevant example, Lisa is a pretty great girlfriend, attractive, and usually looks out for me, but at the same time, am I really going to spend the rest of my life here? Really? It just seems so unexciting.
I know that's all wrong, but what am I supposed to do about it? The fact that I have someone to stick with me no matter what is the whole reason I find it all uninteresting. When I couldn't have her, she was the most desirable thing on the planet.
Maybe that's really the trick, there. Find something or someone that the drawbacks of losing beat out the "drawbacks" of keeping. I'm not sure how realistic that concept even is, as that sounds like one rare, rare bird, but it seems easier than trying to rewire myself.
And maybe that's all it is. I think I lived most of my life with a pretty naïve, romantic version of how things should be, and I don't think it's super hard to see how I got from there to here. Maybe it's just a matter of staying the course.
I lean towards this hard work, hold the course thing. While I don't think Lisa really relates to me or knows me that well, neither does anyone else, really, and she certainly tries harder than anyone I've ever met, and I see no reason that tremendous effort shouldn't be rewarded.
Wow, this all got very long and uncomfortable, and is not really the kind of thing that goes on this particular blog. I blame this week - it's been eerily reminiscent of many events I have not thought of in a long time. The problem with old echoes bouncing around in your head is that they tend to keep going till the simply bounce themselves out.
Anyway, maybe I will call that good, though I could probably go on for a while about the first time I heard this song. There are other places in need of rambles.
I've been reading the stories about that lady breastfeeding in Starbucks, and feeling insulted by another patron. Now, I personally don't really care much about public breastfeeding - honestly, I don't think about it much in general, let alone enough to form any strong opinions, but I do notice two things I definitely don't like about this story.
1. If I want to whip off my shirt, I'm free to do it pretty much anywhere. I can do it on the bus, in the mall, on the street, etc. There are however, a few places that will generally refuse me service or make a comment if I take off my shirt: Restaurants and airplanes.
Now, I don't really mind this, because I wouldn't really want to stare at my half naked body while trying to eat, and I'm pretty sure no one wants to sit next to the sweaty, slightly pudgy pale shirtless dude on the 8 hour flight to Kawaii.
So how is it acceptable for a woman to do the same thing? Don't get me wrong, I have no issue sitting next to someone who is breastfeeding on a plane, because it's not like you can get up and do it somewhere else, and so long as the baby doesn't burp up on me, I really can't say I have much of a legitimate complaint.
That said, when I'm sitting in a coffee shop drinking milky iced sugars, I would prefer everyone around me to keep their clothing firmly attached to their bodies. Yes, I get that there are specialized garments for this which certainly make it a little different from just "whipping it out", and that this particular lady was likely wearing that sort of clothing, but it doesn't mean everyone everywhere would, and it's really more the principle than this instance that I take slight issue with. And yes, I get that the little guy also wants his milky stuff too, but the reality of the situation is that you are not likely trapped inside the coffee shop, and that your child will not explode should he suffer five minutes of discomfort while you drink your overpriced shit.
Wait, wait, it's now two things and a slight aside here - why the fuck are you breastfeeding your baby right after drinking a bunch of sugary, drug filled crap? I'm not, say, a midwife, but I'm pretty sure that's bad for them. I'm sure it takes time for all the shit to absorb, but if you're in there for long enough that you can't step outside for four seconds to take your shirt off, then I'm sure you've had a few cups.
So yeah, I don't like that or understand it. Unless your kid is a balloon, it would take maybe five minutes to go sit outside, feed your kid, then go back in. If it's hot out, then substitute "outside" for "non-restaurant next door" or "air-conditioned car", or "nice, kind of private corner of the restaurant" at least. I agree, the bathroom is gross and not really a clean place to feed a baby, but it's also maybe a little gross and unsanitary when you burp him next to me. I have the sneaking suspicion that if you are doing something super important that can't be put down, like having some kind of business meeting, that you would not breastfeed your kid right then, just as I would not walk around with an open shirt when I'm at work. You would not want to sit next to my sweaty mantits while you try to eat your food, so why should you expect people would want to be next to yours?
2. I get today's world is a strange and wonderful place for many people, but for some, it is not. It's a slowly declining place, and while I wouldn't really consider this to be much of a sign of that, I certainly know that virtually anyone else in my family, all of my friends parents, and likely really anyone over the age of 40 in this area would be at least made uncomfortable, if not offended, by a woman pulling down their shirt for ANY reason. It's not a matter of considering it immoral or "wrong" in any way - it's just something that some people consider taboo or inappropriate.
Now, as another aside here, don't misunderstand this little example. Just because something is taboo does not make it bad by default - most taboos are really pretty silly. I mean, if you are really confident enough to walk around naked all the time and don't mind sunburns or freezing to death, then by all means, go ahead. I have lots of odd friends, but no constantly naked friends, and depending on your personality and how clean and/or attractive you are, I don't think I'd hold it against you or have much trouble being your buddy. The point I'm trying to get at is more this: If you choose to walk around naked everywhere, then can you really get mad at other people who can't help but stare a little?
Anyway, when I read over this story, I find myself disgusted by the bias. They make it play out like some lady walked in, got offended, yelled at this woman, then stormed out. Now, as with any story you will only ever hear one side to, it's completely possible that's how it went, because there are lots of stupid, unreasonable people out there. But, as much as I disagree with most of them I would never consider my family to be stupid per se, and they certainly would gotten offended as well. Would they have yelled at the lady? Maybe after talking politely to her, then politely to the staff, then reasonably politely to her again.
This doesn't all bother me because I think any of that is really right, it bugs me because everyone is so happy that they made this breastfeeding lady happy, but no one seems to care how upset the other woman was. Thinking it's ok to breastfeed in a restaurant is not any more or less "right" that thinking it's not (or at least not, in my opinion, for these reasons, see issue number 1), but thinking that you have more of a right to be comfortable than someone else just because you have a more "mainstream" viewpoint than they do is very, very wrong.
Think of how this would have been treated 30 years ago* - the lady with the baby would have been kicked out, and the complainant would have gotten free coffee. The reversal of this is not what is disturbing - it's the idea that simply because society has become more accepting of some things, we should simply forget how it felt not to have our ideas accepted, and try to force people with a lifetime of experiences to somehow forget them and subscribe to what we think.
Really, the whole thing is pretty stupid, and simply the result of two rude people. Either the breastfeeder should have been at least polite enough to wait for the offended lady to leave before feeding, or the offended lady should have been polite enough to look away or move tables - if the lady rally looked like she does in her picture, it's not exactly hard to look elsewhere, avoid thinking about it, and enjoy your meal. If the other woman really got that upset, then it doesn't seem too unreasonable to wait five minutes for her to leave either. Instead, we get international fucking headlines and a long blog that should really have been a comment on the media instead.
*It should been noted that sometimes this "you can't blame them, that's how they were raised" argument gets used for a lot of things it shouldn't. For example, one should not say this in regards to argue against the "equality**" of black people or women, because regardless of how anyone feels, it's pretty obvious that treating everyone based one merit is maybe a little better of a system than basing their worth on skin color and number of penises. If aliens landed at any point in earth's history, they'd probably be very puzzled as to how we managed to get this far while dividing our civilization on things that are about as arbitrary as the size of earlobes when you really think about it.
**Equality is a pretty stupid concept too. Men and women are not equal, just like black people and white people are not equal, just like green people and purple people would probably not be equal, simply because people in general are not all equal. I am not equal to Laura Prepon in terms of "goodlooking redhead" scaling, but, at the same time, I really doubt she is equal to me in say, ability to drink stupendous amounts without dying. As another example, Barrak Obama is nowhere near equal to someone like Sarah Palin in terms of actually running a government properly (despite the media portrayal and my onetime opinion, she actually was pretty good at what she did), but is far, far better at coming across as someone who can rather than a weak, simpering idiot (which he kind of turned out to be. Shocker). Trying to make everyone equal is dumb on so many levels it's actually harmful to society - some people are simply better at some things than others, and I think in a world where those with true merit are allowed to actually realize their potential, things would probably be much better for everyone including those of us with no particular talents. Or, we'd all be wiped out by the first evil genius to show up, which could be interesting in itself.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/julia-wykes/the-disturbing-trend-i-noticed-when-my-breastfeeding-story-went-viral_b_5551589.html
This is one side of the story, if you are interested. as with everything that bothers me in today's news, it's not really impartial - written by one of the ladies involved, in fact.
1. If I want to whip off my shirt, I'm free to do it pretty much anywhere. I can do it on the bus, in the mall, on the street, etc. There are however, a few places that will generally refuse me service or make a comment if I take off my shirt: Restaurants and airplanes.
Now, I don't really mind this, because I wouldn't really want to stare at my half naked body while trying to eat, and I'm pretty sure no one wants to sit next to the sweaty, slightly pudgy pale shirtless dude on the 8 hour flight to Kawaii.
So how is it acceptable for a woman to do the same thing? Don't get me wrong, I have no issue sitting next to someone who is breastfeeding on a plane, because it's not like you can get up and do it somewhere else, and so long as the baby doesn't burp up on me, I really can't say I have much of a legitimate complaint.
That said, when I'm sitting in a coffee shop drinking milky iced sugars, I would prefer everyone around me to keep their clothing firmly attached to their bodies. Yes, I get that there are specialized garments for this which certainly make it a little different from just "whipping it out", and that this particular lady was likely wearing that sort of clothing, but it doesn't mean everyone everywhere would, and it's really more the principle than this instance that I take slight issue with. And yes, I get that the little guy also wants his milky stuff too, but the reality of the situation is that you are not likely trapped inside the coffee shop, and that your child will not explode should he suffer five minutes of discomfort while you drink your overpriced shit.
Wait, wait, it's now two things and a slight aside here - why the fuck are you breastfeeding your baby right after drinking a bunch of sugary, drug filled crap? I'm not, say, a midwife, but I'm pretty sure that's bad for them. I'm sure it takes time for all the shit to absorb, but if you're in there for long enough that you can't step outside for four seconds to take your shirt off, then I'm sure you've had a few cups.
So yeah, I don't like that or understand it. Unless your kid is a balloon, it would take maybe five minutes to go sit outside, feed your kid, then go back in. If it's hot out, then substitute "outside" for "non-restaurant next door" or "air-conditioned car", or "nice, kind of private corner of the restaurant" at least. I agree, the bathroom is gross and not really a clean place to feed a baby, but it's also maybe a little gross and unsanitary when you burp him next to me. I have the sneaking suspicion that if you are doing something super important that can't be put down, like having some kind of business meeting, that you would not breastfeed your kid right then, just as I would not walk around with an open shirt when I'm at work. You would not want to sit next to my sweaty mantits while you try to eat your food, so why should you expect people would want to be next to yours?
2. I get today's world is a strange and wonderful place for many people, but for some, it is not. It's a slowly declining place, and while I wouldn't really consider this to be much of a sign of that, I certainly know that virtually anyone else in my family, all of my friends parents, and likely really anyone over the age of 40 in this area would be at least made uncomfortable, if not offended, by a woman pulling down their shirt for ANY reason. It's not a matter of considering it immoral or "wrong" in any way - it's just something that some people consider taboo or inappropriate.
Now, as another aside here, don't misunderstand this little example. Just because something is taboo does not make it bad by default - most taboos are really pretty silly. I mean, if you are really confident enough to walk around naked all the time and don't mind sunburns or freezing to death, then by all means, go ahead. I have lots of odd friends, but no constantly naked friends, and depending on your personality and how clean and/or attractive you are, I don't think I'd hold it against you or have much trouble being your buddy. The point I'm trying to get at is more this: If you choose to walk around naked everywhere, then can you really get mad at other people who can't help but stare a little?
Anyway, when I read over this story, I find myself disgusted by the bias. They make it play out like some lady walked in, got offended, yelled at this woman, then stormed out. Now, as with any story you will only ever hear one side to, it's completely possible that's how it went, because there are lots of stupid, unreasonable people out there. But, as much as I disagree with most of them I would never consider my family to be stupid per se, and they certainly would gotten offended as well. Would they have yelled at the lady? Maybe after talking politely to her, then politely to the staff, then reasonably politely to her again.
This doesn't all bother me because I think any of that is really right, it bugs me because everyone is so happy that they made this breastfeeding lady happy, but no one seems to care how upset the other woman was. Thinking it's ok to breastfeed in a restaurant is not any more or less "right" that thinking it's not (or at least not, in my opinion, for these reasons, see issue number 1), but thinking that you have more of a right to be comfortable than someone else just because you have a more "mainstream" viewpoint than they do is very, very wrong.
Think of how this would have been treated 30 years ago* - the lady with the baby would have been kicked out, and the complainant would have gotten free coffee. The reversal of this is not what is disturbing - it's the idea that simply because society has become more accepting of some things, we should simply forget how it felt not to have our ideas accepted, and try to force people with a lifetime of experiences to somehow forget them and subscribe to what we think.
Really, the whole thing is pretty stupid, and simply the result of two rude people. Either the breastfeeder should have been at least polite enough to wait for the offended lady to leave before feeding, or the offended lady should have been polite enough to look away or move tables - if the lady rally looked like she does in her picture, it's not exactly hard to look elsewhere, avoid thinking about it, and enjoy your meal. If the other woman really got that upset, then it doesn't seem too unreasonable to wait five minutes for her to leave either. Instead, we get international fucking headlines and a long blog that should really have been a comment on the media instead.
*It should been noted that sometimes this "you can't blame them, that's how they were raised" argument gets used for a lot of things it shouldn't. For example, one should not say this in regards to argue against the "equality**" of black people or women, because regardless of how anyone feels, it's pretty obvious that treating everyone based one merit is maybe a little better of a system than basing their worth on skin color and number of penises. If aliens landed at any point in earth's history, they'd probably be very puzzled as to how we managed to get this far while dividing our civilization on things that are about as arbitrary as the size of earlobes when you really think about it.
**Equality is a pretty stupid concept too. Men and women are not equal, just like black people and white people are not equal, just like green people and purple people would probably not be equal, simply because people in general are not all equal. I am not equal to Laura Prepon in terms of "goodlooking redhead" scaling, but, at the same time, I really doubt she is equal to me in say, ability to drink stupendous amounts without dying. As another example, Barrak Obama is nowhere near equal to someone like Sarah Palin in terms of actually running a government properly (despite the media portrayal and my onetime opinion, she actually was pretty good at what she did), but is far, far better at coming across as someone who can rather than a weak, simpering idiot (which he kind of turned out to be. Shocker). Trying to make everyone equal is dumb on so many levels it's actually harmful to society - some people are simply better at some things than others, and I think in a world where those with true merit are allowed to actually realize their potential, things would probably be much better for everyone including those of us with no particular talents. Or, we'd all be wiped out by the first evil genius to show up, which could be interesting in itself.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/julia-wykes/the-disturbing-trend-i-noticed-when-my-breastfeeding-story-went-viral_b_5551589.html
This is one side of the story, if you are interested. as with everything that bothers me in today's news, it's not really impartial - written by one of the ladies involved, in fact.
2.7.14
Well, that was a weekend, for sure. The cultural differences between Germans (or "swiss germans", cause apparently that actually does matter) and Canadians, or even North Americans in general, is startling.
I wouldn't say that one way is necessarily better than the other, because that doesn't really seem like a judgement anyone could impartially make, but I will say that despite all the hate heaped on Americans, your average 18-year old Swiss girl is far, far more likely to offend your average Canadian in person than our slower cousins to the south are.
Don't get me wrong - I am usually pretty down for anything these days, and there are far worse ways to spend a weekend than getting hammered with a bunch of ridiculous, hyper-efficient, sex-obsessed people who speak a different language. But with that said, I could probably tell you some stories that I don't really want to commit to print anywhere that occurred over the last few days that would make you laugh, then cringe, then go "WWWAAAAAASSSSSSSSS?!?!" in a strange, high-pitched voice for the rest of the evening. Good people, very different culture.
I also found it interesting that the difference in language was actually less relevant than I thought. Admittedly, certain aspects of conversation, like telling jokes or any story on my end of things, were not really at all simple, but I found that after a couple hours listening to the "cadence" (for lack of a better term, and a few beers, I could generally pick up on what they were talking about.
It's not really that hard - Germans consciously put certain inflections on different words in order to imply different meanings, something that I've noticed a lot of us Canadians don't really do. I tend to speak this way myself, simply because I've always noticed the emotions behind words more than the words themselves anyway, and as English is just what happens when you leave French, German, and Latin alone to fuck for a couple centuries, I could get most of what was being said if I paid attention. If I felt really lost, I could generally assume they were talking about sex, which would usually be confirmed when one of them made a wanking motion, said something I recognized as having to do with fucking or getting fucked, or simply looked at me and yelled "SEX! HAHA!".
Unfortunately, they had a lot more trouble with this. I think there's quite a few reasons for it:
1. Despite the fact that I don't really mind spending a half hour holding up a conversation about foursomes while trying to figure out whether I'm being asked to join one, or whether I've had one before, I personally don't really like to talk about sex all the time. Thusly, substituting words they did not know is probably harder because they can't fall back on just assuming I'm talking about the same old thing.
2. German, as a language, is pretty abrupt and straightforward. Each. Word. Is. A. Word. Unless. You're. Just. Fucked. Then. It's. A. Werd. Word. That. You. Need. To. Say. A. Few. Times. English is more a flow of words with other meanings and strange pronunciations and really no particular order besides whatever the speaker inflicts on it. I, unfortunately, do not usually talk slowly.
3. My lack of any real knowledge of German besides very simple words was actually probably an advantage for me over their strange, strange ideas of conversational English. I can recognize a few words here and there, and can usually piece things together from the tone and so forth. They can recognize simple, strangely constructed and pronounced phrases, and repeat them with varying accuracy, but could not really pick up on normally built sentences.
Anyway. Very strange, kind of fun, very, very interesting, which is most important thing, probably. And like I say, despite shenanigans and so on, it was a pretty good time, and nice to meet some good people from somewhere else.
Through some process that I am simply to lazy to really want to transcribe, I got to looking at old FB posts and written things and blogs and the like, and I find it's kind of interesting how life goes sometimes. It seems like most aspects of it will naturally change and evolve if left alone, but the things I have or still do try to "hang on to" seem to forever remain more or less static despite any conscious effort to repair, alter, or eliminate them.
On a related note, what does it mean when you spend a whole night next to a very pretty, shirtless blonde while completely dance-with-me-or-I'll-fall-down class hammered, and are so focused on trying to figure out what she's saying in a very charming voice that you don't notice the lack of shirt till you see pictures later? As probably the first contact with someone new that I find to be quite a bit more physically attractive than average in a couple of years, I still can't help but feel at the lack of apparent ulterior motive on my part. I guess you could call that progress, but at the same time, I doubt I would even be questioning this lack unless it bugged me that I let a pretty straightforward opportunity pass me up.
Well, now I'm just confusing myself, so that's the blog today.
Your turn!
I wouldn't say that one way is necessarily better than the other, because that doesn't really seem like a judgement anyone could impartially make, but I will say that despite all the hate heaped on Americans, your average 18-year old Swiss girl is far, far more likely to offend your average Canadian in person than our slower cousins to the south are.
Don't get me wrong - I am usually pretty down for anything these days, and there are far worse ways to spend a weekend than getting hammered with a bunch of ridiculous, hyper-efficient, sex-obsessed people who speak a different language. But with that said, I could probably tell you some stories that I don't really want to commit to print anywhere that occurred over the last few days that would make you laugh, then cringe, then go "WWWAAAAAASSSSSSSSS?!?!" in a strange, high-pitched voice for the rest of the evening. Good people, very different culture.
I also found it interesting that the difference in language was actually less relevant than I thought. Admittedly, certain aspects of conversation, like telling jokes or any story on my end of things, were not really at all simple, but I found that after a couple hours listening to the "cadence" (for lack of a better term, and a few beers, I could generally pick up on what they were talking about.
It's not really that hard - Germans consciously put certain inflections on different words in order to imply different meanings, something that I've noticed a lot of us Canadians don't really do. I tend to speak this way myself, simply because I've always noticed the emotions behind words more than the words themselves anyway, and as English is just what happens when you leave French, German, and Latin alone to fuck for a couple centuries, I could get most of what was being said if I paid attention. If I felt really lost, I could generally assume they were talking about sex, which would usually be confirmed when one of them made a wanking motion, said something I recognized as having to do with fucking or getting fucked, or simply looked at me and yelled "SEX! HAHA!".
Unfortunately, they had a lot more trouble with this. I think there's quite a few reasons for it:
1. Despite the fact that I don't really mind spending a half hour holding up a conversation about foursomes while trying to figure out whether I'm being asked to join one, or whether I've had one before, I personally don't really like to talk about sex all the time. Thusly, substituting words they did not know is probably harder because they can't fall back on just assuming I'm talking about the same old thing.
2. German, as a language, is pretty abrupt and straightforward. Each. Word. Is. A. Word. Unless. You're. Just. Fucked. Then. It's. A. Werd. Word. That. You. Need. To. Say. A. Few. Times. English is more a flow of words with other meanings and strange pronunciations and really no particular order besides whatever the speaker inflicts on it. I, unfortunately, do not usually talk slowly.
3. My lack of any real knowledge of German besides very simple words was actually probably an advantage for me over their strange, strange ideas of conversational English. I can recognize a few words here and there, and can usually piece things together from the tone and so forth. They can recognize simple, strangely constructed and pronounced phrases, and repeat them with varying accuracy, but could not really pick up on normally built sentences.
Anyway. Very strange, kind of fun, very, very interesting, which is most important thing, probably. And like I say, despite shenanigans and so on, it was a pretty good time, and nice to meet some good people from somewhere else.
Through some process that I am simply to lazy to really want to transcribe, I got to looking at old FB posts and written things and blogs and the like, and I find it's kind of interesting how life goes sometimes. It seems like most aspects of it will naturally change and evolve if left alone, but the things I have or still do try to "hang on to" seem to forever remain more or less static despite any conscious effort to repair, alter, or eliminate them.
On a related note, what does it mean when you spend a whole night next to a very pretty, shirtless blonde while completely dance-with-me-or-I'll-fall-down class hammered, and are so focused on trying to figure out what she's saying in a very charming voice that you don't notice the lack of shirt till you see pictures later? As probably the first contact with someone new that I find to be quite a bit more physically attractive than average in a couple of years, I still can't help but feel at the lack of apparent ulterior motive on my part. I guess you could call that progress, but at the same time, I doubt I would even be questioning this lack unless it bugged me that I let a pretty straightforward opportunity pass me up.
Well, now I'm just confusing myself, so that's the blog today.
Your turn!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
