I forgot how much I liked this guy's music. I think the cats like it too - they joined me in dancing around the kitchen and making noises that could pass for singing all night to the oldies. I guess it's possible they were just trying to bite my feet and were making the I'M FUCKING CRAZY noises, but I'd rather take it as a nice sentiment, personally.

Gads, I'm bored. You'd think I'd be a bit tired by now. It feels like there is something I'm forgetting here that's rather important. I don't know if it's something I was supposed to do today, or something to do tomorrow, or something else entirely that doesn't matter a ton, but that is still driving me crazy because it won't come to mind.

Anxious. That's maybe a better word for it. I mean, I'm bored, in that I have nothing to do and am kinda just sitting here feeling off, but I'm also a little wound up and I don't know why.

I've been writing a lot about all sorts of stuff lately. There are many a page in my little den room full of ramblings and scribbles. Maybe I'm feeling the need to write, because I've been writing so much.

When I talk about the Incan Monkey God, this is kind of what I'm meaning. Why am I writing? Because I'm not tired. Why am I not tired? Well, duh, because there's things to write!

I think, fundamentally, I am really bored with life right now. I don't know why, because lots of absolutely, unthinkably insane shit is going on all around me right now. I just feel really detached from it.

Maybe I'll blame Sophie. Seems to be a common thing, and it would sort of make sense that that's why I'm feeling all reflective and annoyed.

Sure. That seems easy. Let's go with that.


You know who looks like they suffer from truly frightening dreams? Bear, my preferred cat. He goes into convulsions and screams in his sleep. I feel really bad for the little guy - he's my buddy and very affectionate with me. We did not used to get along very well, but that's changed over the last few years. He does not sleep a lot either, so when I go to bed, he will usually come with me and snuggle up under the blankets. He knows I'll keep him safe, and I always sleep better with him there - cats are supposed to ward off evil spirits, and as much as I really don't subscribe to that kind of thing, my subconscious probably does. At least that's my theory. It could also be because I know if I have a shitty enough time of it, I'll bump him, then he'll have a shitty time and claw me, then I'll wake up and we can both go have some nice warm milk.

Simon, the other cat, is stupid as a bag of fucking pretzles. All you have to do if you want to cuddle with him is hold him down for three of four seconds, after which he forgets whatever else is happening and that he wasn't already cuddling you in the first place. I have not bonded with him as much because of his malleability, despite the fact that he is a pretty loving cat.

There are a bunch of severed deer heads in a bucket behind the store right now. I'm not sure quite how I got here from "cats", as usually the associations there are "hairy", "smelly", or "tasty", but I suspect it has a lot to do with the Monkey God. Anyway, buckets of severed deer heads, still bloody and probably on the verge of rotting. No one knows what they are doing there. I spent the day asking if anyone knew what to do with them, and suggesting that maybe we should just give Johnny Fontaine a part in the movie.

No one got it, which is pretty fucking typically. I guess it helps confirm that not only are they not a staff member's or a customer's, they weren't put there by the Goddess for comic relief either.

I should go to bed. This whole week has been pretty shit in terms of getting well rested. I never sleep a lot, but it's not often I will not sleep at all for a day or two. I miss waking up all alert.

I don't know what the problem is tonight. I am a little high but not really stoned. It's late, and I'm relatively warm and comfortable. I can't see any solid reason why I should not be ready to go sleep well and calmly. I have my guesses I suppose, such as feeling like there's something off and so forth, but I don't see any real solutions.

Oh well. I think I will go make food, then watch some Lilyhammer and go to bed.