Today was fun. Worked, then worked some more, smoked too many cigarettes, and narrowed down my selection of girls.

The one who got cut today was disqualified for being startlingly stupid. If you're reading this, there's a good chance I think you're pretty clever and haven't ever given you my blank, "holy fuck, did you seriously just say thatt?" look. It's not really anyone's business what exactly happened, but the look was followed by a laugh, followed by a "You're not fucking kidding? Yeah, I agree, you are an idiot."

Which was followed by her telling me she'll see me after work on Sunday.

The other ones are still about. I don't mean to sound callous about it or anything. I really don't try to have enough chicks after me to be able to pick and choose. I don't have any desire to be a pickup artist. Hell, I only attract a decent girl every few years, but when I do, there's always more than one poking around. I'll direct you to the earlier Bukowski quote.

The other two are both really good friends and not nearly as replaceable as this one was, so I hope they both never read this, meet, or decide to really get serious at the same time in the next few weeks.


Aside from that, there's not alot new. I don't even know why I wrote any of that, it's hardly that important or interesting, even to me. I guess everything really did get swamped by work, and I felt like I needed to write something anyway.

Have Mercy Babe, I hope Ya Don't Mind.

I'm going to be loaded by the summer.

Picking up extra hours today at the mall, and for Earl. I've earned three hundred dollars, give or take, in the last three days, and am going to do so probably weekly.

I suppose I should find a charity or something, share the luck. Maybe I'll tell Edward that if he saves up for a truck, I'll throw a couple hundred towards it. He needs to learn to save money anyway, and I think his birthday is sometime around now.

Well, I guess it's off to work. There's more to write about, but I suspect all those things will become swamped in a mess of work hours, like they usually do. Not a bad thing, usually. XD

I wrote the words to this song on the back of a photograph.

So, I'm working at Shoppers now. Unemployment might have been fun, but doing security there pays insanely well.

I don't think I've mentioned the Haley picture at Zellers, but to make a really long summation very short, there was this ad for some makeup on the makeup counter (nooOOOO), and I don't know if it's the lighting in that place, or what, but the first few times I saw it, it looked exactly like her peeking up from behind the counter.


They took that one down a while ago, but there's Tylar picture in Shoppers. Fuck lighting, it's pretty much an exact snapshot of her, down to the bags under the eyes and everything. It's in the pharmacy section, I don't really remember what it's selling, and don't care enough to make a joke.

I guess that's it for now. Title was longer than the blog. XD

2:28amPhillip
Not especially.
I know of three people with me or something involving me as a password.
2:29amLindsay
its just something ill never forget lol
2:29amPhillip
They all asked me if it was weird. Haha.
2:32amLindsay
lmao. i could have used you. BUt i like to be original
2:32amPhillip
In your case, that probably would have been a little odd XD
2:34amLindsay
being that im not in love with you? lol unlike a good portion of girls
2:35amPhillip
Not too many, anymore.
I've made pretty good sure of that.
2:36amLindsay
hahaha way to be
2:36amPhillip
Seems fair, haha
Bahaha
Ok. Revelatory topic.
I really do think it's fair.
Everyone's fucked me over, at least a litt.e
I usually want out pretty quick, but they always still are into me.
So, to be fair, I don't leave, I take one for the team, but I get progressively worse as a boyfriend.
I leave. If they call, need me around, I repeat the process. Actually, the last two I just haven't talked to at all, really.
They stop loving or liking me. Even people who like me seem to always like me unless I'm a dick.
So, I get to spend the very last part taking total advantage of them, if I want, which I really usually dont. I can be an asshole and relax after trying to give them some time and having eased them down a bit.
In return, they get over me, they learn what they want, and they invariably find something at least closer to real love with the next guy.
Happened to you
Happened to Haley
Happened to Sam according to her
Happened to Ty, from the sounds of it.
Didn't happen to Lisa, cause I didn't do it.
Happened to Alex
I can't think of anyone else you know, haha.
Drunken insight for you!
2:43amPhillip
That was actually a really good monolog. If I ever write a really shitty play with a immoral drunk in it, I'm going to be an asshole and quote it.



I'm mostly posting it here just in case I do write a play, not because I'm an asshole and pround of it. Really.


Pround. What the fuck.

Tonight has been weird.

I'm getting drunk on butterscotch Schnapps and talking to Lindsay. She wants a link to Ian's blog. Might be the drink, but I suspect it's because she thinks it's mine.

Hah. I like the irony of this.

See, this blog is listed under my real name, etc. etc. etc. I've never had a blog before, I don't see a reason to hide who I am when I do. All someone needs to do is look.


I won't tell her about it. If she finds it, power to her, but frankly, I don't think I've written anything interesting enough to bother to read yet.

Just the typical shit. Cheers to ya anyway.

I'm not anti-gay, I just can't take it seriously.

One of my gay friends (or I guess sort of aquaintances in this case) is talking about fighting some guy on FB.

Maybe I'm prejudice or something, but I keep trying to picture it, and it keeps turning into a semi-musical scene from Grease.

If he were a Chicago gay (the only difference between them and your average straight guy being they like to fuck other guys, and are some of the scariest, "last-person-you-want-to-fuck-with" type people I've met), instead of "one of the girls", I'd have an easier time with it, but this, this is just like a bad sit-com.

; Girls: You can bitch and moan about being played and not getting the respect you deserve, but the truth is, you will get whatever the fuck you ask for, and if you can't earn your own respect, then you aren't going to get any. If you let a guy walk all over you and still run back to him, he's going to treat you like shit, and you have no right to complain. /rant.


It's the truth, but enough people can't understand that, so it's getting said here instead of as my FB status.

It works the same way for guys. You let a girl fuck around with you, and OF COURSE you're going to get fucked over.

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20100122/w5_tomslake_100123/20100123?s_name=W5




Just a quick one today. Little link to the W5's recent report on the pipeline bomber. Hey, I found it interesting.

Ahaha.

HOLY SHIT.

This is possibly the best day I've had. I found 35 bucks in change in the truck, already bagged and counted. Kris has offered me 1500 as a severance package. Earl has offered me a sec. job at 18 an hour for the same hours that I've been working here. The mall's hired some interesting people, so it's not boring as shit anymore.

There's a pretty girl around.

I can now afford a house.

My truck isn't broken.

I got given a kickass bong and bought a bubbler pipe.

Yup, good times indeed.

Oh hey, a rare good day at work thus far. Feel like writing things, but don't have he time, so here's a quote from one of the mall girls that made me chuckle instead:

"Well, I don't really consider it cheating. I just gave him a blowjob and he was done in less than 40 seconds."


I don't know where the fuck they make people like this, but for some reason, that's bloody priceless.

I don't really know where the fuck they make people who are done in 40 seconds either. Seriously, that's impressive. I can't even get myself off that fast, let alone be gotten off that fast by the palsied, clam handed halitosis cases I seem to attract.

Anyway, no more time. Till later!

In lieu of the innuendo..

I don't fully understand where you're trying to steer this. Example:

I'm tired of living with him, I hate his guts, are you getting a house? I need someone to live with. I can't deal with my boyfriend anymore OH WAIT, no, never mind, he's not my boyfriend anymore, I'm single, really. Please pay more attention to me.

Then I counter with whatever "hm" type response I can think of, and end with "We can smoke a joint after work if you want".

I get back:

Uh, I don't know. I'm not allowed to smoke up without him around.



So yeah, I have no idea what the hell you're trying to accomplish, but you aren't very good at it. Who the hells asks if they can live with you, but won't light one up?

The best part is when I come back into work and the other one yells at me "WHY DON'T YOU TALK TO ME WHEN THAT OTHER GIRL IS AROUND?"

Here's a tip. It's cause you talk in a way that requires me to type in either all caps, or without using the spacebar, and that tires me the fuck out to repeat verbatim. Seriously, can't we just all be friends?

Paul says:
I tried to draw Luke when he joined the Dark Side but it wouldn't come up.

Steven says:
Hah

Paul says:
That's probably the only section of the saga where Luke actually looked kinda intimidating. Unfortunately, he also looked like a blend of an emo and a goth who listens to too much of The Cure.

Steven says:
Luke?
Anakin? Or however you spell it?

Paul says:
I was mentioning Luke Skywalker.
Dressed in clad black? Leather boots? Green lightsaber? Emo 'do?

Steven says:
I didn't know he turned to the dark side.
Oh. He was just wearing black.

Paul says:
He did. He did it to get close to the emperor and snuff him, but then he got tempted by the dark side, yadda yadda yadda, comes to him senses, blah blah blah, and Darth Vader tosses the empreror down a bottomless shaft.

Steven says:
I thought he got electrocuted for that whole insanely long scene just because he said no.
Yeah, didn't he say no, then fought Vader until the Emporer commented on him "using his anger"?

Paul says:
Yeah, he did. That part was funny.
Was that what happened? I thought he actually stuck to the bad guys for a bit.

Steven says:
Nah, that would mean having to add depth to the character.
I never liked any of them except Han much anyway.
I would have loved for the first movie to end with Han taking off and Vader gunning down Luke, the Alliance getting blown apart, with the last 30 minutes detailing all the kickass things Han did with his loot, and all the even more kickass things Harrison Ford did with his career after.

Paul says:
Aaaaw. But that would mean that Chewy would die too!

Steven says:
Psh, Chewie is smart enough to split with Han like they should have.
He probably tried to talk him out of coming back, damnit!
Think about it
Get a pile of cash and the like, or save a bunch of whiny dissidents who will, in the end, put you out of buisness if they win and smuggling is no longer a nessicary trade, and who will probably come to you complaining and looking for handouts after you carry them through the next two sequels and their careers flounder.

Steven says:
While I'm tearing apart things you love, if you really think about it, alot of superheros would literally just be deformed retards without their superpowers.

Booze (the A-word is awful hard to spell) + stoned checkers + StarWars reruns and a general distaste for sci-fi.

Tommy Dorsey sounds like a rapist

Good weed, found some Schnapps, bunch of old records, and the pool table.

Found friend with which to smoke the weed, drank the Schnapps before I got there, now playing pool shitfaced and doing better than I would sober. Plan to walk to Seven and get cooked, since we're outta smokes.

Turns out if you complain, things always work out. Hm.

Five minutes later:

YAY BRENDAN HOOKED ME UP.

Thankee.

No weed, no booze, no prescription pills, nothing, natch, nada.

But! BUT!

But nothing. Fuck this shit, I can't even think well enough to write.

Never, ever believe anyone who says they aren't hooked on something.
Never believe an addict. And we're all addicts.

I feel like shit today. I think it's safe to assume that it's because I haven't eaten anything for a few days except shrooms and a pepperoni stick. Oh well.

There's a new girl around now, I'm not really sure what to think about it. I've really gotten alot better at distinguising between "interesting", and "just too plain fucked up for me to get involved". I've been with some absolutely fucking insane people over the last year or two, and I'm about tired of it. My grasp on reality is usually shakey enough, I don't need that shit besides.

See, what happens is I start to feel bad for whomever it is. I'm not sure why I have this particular self-destructive tendancy, but usually when I feel bad for someone, I have a heap of difficulty telling them to fuck off and leave me alone, even if they really should. I don't really want to have a thing, especially not this time around, but I guess whateer happens happens, and I can always just get bitter and hateful and tell her off later.

I don't really have much else to say for now. I had the weirdest trip I've ever had yesterday, but I don't terribly want to tell you about it right now.

Also, I apparently scare people when I'm sober and look unhappy.

I guess this is a good thing to know.

This is an awkward conversation.

You're saying some bullshit about a night at the bar. I'm saying some bullshit to pretend I give a shit.

What I'd really like to say is more along the lines of:

Dude, why the hell are you even talking to me? You've proven your shittiness to me time and time again, and I made it clear, I'm sick of you and your bullshit.

Friends means that you at least give me a truth once and a while. I can look past pretty much everything aside from that. But since that's too much for you, friends we ain't, and you should realize it.

Work is boring shit.

I'm getting fired from the bookstore. After five years, I'm getting fired because my boss thinks it would be good for me to go do something else.

I'm not really that worked up about it. It's bullshit and stupid, sure, but she really thinks she's doing me a favor, so I can't be mad with her. I think a bigger favor would be to, oh, I don't know, maybe pay me more money, like what I made when I started there (somehow, I went down in payscale over the last few years, rather than up), or to maybe give me more hours or something, so that I don't have to work three jobs just to be able to keep my truck running.

All that said, I don't really give a fuck if I'm fired. I don't really give a fuck if I don't have an insured truck, either. Even out of gas, I can still relax in it and smoke up, and really, the only reason I need a vehical at all is to come into town and go to work. Remove the work, and I can happily sit at home and relax. There's an advantage to disliking most of your friends - you don't feel any really urgent need to go see them, so I don't really need a car of my own for that, either.

Besides, if I'm really so inclined, I still have this boring ass job at the mall. It sucks, sure, but it's become obvious that no one even gives a shit if I actually show up (as with the management and everyone else who works here), so I can easily go sack out and nap all day, while getting paid a little bit of money for it.

I think if Kris goes through with this, I'll just sit back and enjoy being unemployed for a good long while.

New Years Aftermath

As I keep finding things that have been fucked with, I keep wanting to come and yell at you for it. Not cause I'm really mad or anything, I'm just dissapointed that you weren't watching better. I trusted you to take care of things, and thusly enable me to go do whatever I wanted and enjoy myself. I realize the place wasn't destroyed, but it's becoming more evident that that's more because we don't own anything heavy enough to knock down the walls.

That said, I couldn't actually yell at you for it. For one, I like you too much and it would probably unintentionally cause a fight that wouldn't be worth it, and for two, it's pretty much my own fault for not sticking around to make sure things weren't being fucked with. There's not much I can do but sit and laugh at myself, then count through my wallet and hope I can cover everything.

Wunderbar!

I found all my Lego when I was smoking up in the garage yesterday! :)


...


Shut the fuck up, I think it's the best thing that's happened to me in weeks. Who the hell doesn't like Lego?

Three things I learned today:

1. People from Deerfield, Illinois, are really bad at hiding the fact. Bad enough that I could guess the exact town from a few minutes of conversation (if you want to know how, they mentioned working in a pharmacutical company, all the major U.S. ones being located on the east coast. After that, it's just a little paying attention). For once, I actually had fun with a guessing game, especially since my useless knowledge of something actually convinced someone I was a genious for once.

I'd let that totally go to my head now that I think about it, if I hadn't just re-read this post in it's entirety.



2. After enough use, the can of beer you've been using as a cup for your sink because you're too lazy to walk upstairs and get one will lose that three week old beer after taste, and totally be worth not having to go up and down the stairs all the time.



3. You can't make soft-shell tacos out of cheese, hamburger, and old pancakes. Or at least you shouldn't. It just doesn't work. At all. Ok?

Yo Marissa! In case you got this far back, I lied. This was the one about you.

I hate this job. There's not anything to do here. I could easily spend the next few hours napping in Irlene's office (I mean, she gets away with it without locking herself in), and I wouldn't miss shit.

This is not a great start to the new year so far, but I guess at least I HAVE a job, which is more than alot of people can probably say right now. Thank Goddess the recession have much to do with or about books or malls that don't make any money anyway.

Speaking of New Years, L. had her party at my house. Things actually went really smoothly with a few exceptions. Basically, it was an ok time, but apparently I still don't have any friends I can just get smashed and relax with. Until I meet someone else either uptight or mature (depending on what you want to call it) enough to look after everything, I guess I'll be having single vodkas and playing babysitter.

My New Years goal is to track down Nikki. I feel like shite about the way that was all handled (it's a longer story than I want to write right now), so I'm going to try to put a little time into finding out what happened to her and how she's doing.

I think I'll also get the tattoo this year. Really, the only reason I haven't already is because the tattoo place is always closed when I get off work, but I think I'm going to quit everything for a couple months because I really would like a break, and will have time then.


Hm, this only took a few minutes. I'm tired of being chilly, or I'd go outside and have a smoke.

I think I need to buy cigarettes anyway. Maybe I'll go do that.