Bigass Sony Headphones

Bigass Sony headphones, bigass Sony headphones, I love my bigass Sony headphones, yessir.

Long time, no update.

Life is ok. Work is fun and such.

I don't really have anything to say. I'm not overly happy here, but I'm not really unhappy either, so it really gives me nothing to go off.

I gave up on the Lisa thing. Love and everything is nice, but I just don't feel like putting in the effort this is really obviously going to need. I will remain somewhat indifferent, and have probably become even more apathetic. She apparently doesn't either, so I guess she'll remain the slutty drunk chick, and we'll just wait this out.

I'm really bored. Constantly. The people here are nice, but I don't really have alot to say to any of them. My friends are interesting enough, but it's more the sort of interesting that a bug in a jar is. You play with it, watch it's life, and can even talk to it if you want, but in the end, it's just a bug in a jar.

I don't know. The only time I feel like writing somethinghere is when I'm stoned, but I really rarely get a chance to have a minute to myself when I have time to get high.

I don't like living with my girlfriend.

I like living by myself, or with someone I don't need to be right next to every minute of the day.

I don't know. I am now bored. Cheerio.

There's obviously something going on here.

You're cold and uninterested, you complain about everything I do, and I consistently walk in on you deleting messages on your phone.

I don't know what's up, but if this isn't going to work, then let me know so I can go do my own thing and not be stuck here with someone who doesn't want me around.

I just noticed every post I've written for like a month now is basically about how boring this place is.

WELL, IT IS!

Anyway, I think I'm going home soon. I've definately learned a few things this trip, ex.

So long as I have a reasonably steady supply of pot, I can make the best out of even the stupidest situations.

Running out of pot in an insanely stupid situation sucks more than you'd think.

Ontario people are pretty much everything I expected.

Girls, even the good ones, aren't worth even the slightest inconvenience.

Baking is hard work, but alot of fun.


Etc. etc.


I also learned I REALLY like being single and having few friends. This "social life" thing is just a pain in the ass, and steady sex (as far as I can tell, the only reason anyone dates) is not really worth steady pains in the ass.

Unless that's the type of sex you're into, I guess.

Things I miss about back home:

Clean houses. Like, houses that are vaccumed once a month, not once when you built it. I know my room probably contradicts this, but anyone who's spent ALOT of time over when I was the only one there might have noticed I like to keep the place pretty clean outside of my room.

Taking shits. There's no doors on the bathroom here, the bathroom adjoins Dawn and Peter's room. Enough said.

Having spaceof any sort. We're living with six other people in a four bedroom house, built before the second world war.

Quiet. The house has six LOUD people in it, and is apparently made from cardboard insulated with amplifiers.

Not being bothered to kill bugs. IF YOU CLEANED YOUR HOUSE, MAYBE EVEN JUST THROWING OUT SOME OF THESE SIX YEAR OLD PIZZA BOXES, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE NEARLY AS MANY SPIDERS AND SHIT.


Etc. etc.

There are some decent things here. Like getting stoned and listening to Public Enemy while walking around in the Hawaii-like nights. But besides that, eh. I'm ready to hit the west coast again.

Welp, I'm bored of being here now.

And I'm out of weird Ontario weed. How unpleasant.

I am tired of here.

It's not overly bad or anything. Baking is fun. Getting baked and my few friends' houses is fun.

Being around Lisa everyday is sometimes fun.

Really, it's a nice little place in general, but I'm already bored and ready to go see someplace new.

Maybe I'm just getting overworked or something. 12 hour days, starting at six P.M. leave you with a pretty sickly social schedual, and right tired too. Besides, while Dylan and the bakery girls are fun to hang out with, they're all definately of the "night shift" mindset and are a little weird to be around accordingly.

I don't know. I'm not in a writing mood, but it's been a while and I feel guilty about not updating, haha.

What sort of hellish place has HEAT WARNINGS?

It is HOT here.

40 degrees, plus humidity.

And today I start work in the back of a hot, hot bakery. Blah.

I've spent the last week working with Lisa's dad on cars and things. Everyone says he's some sort of evil hardass (outside of their family, mind), but he seems like a pretty good guy, and I actually really enjoy working with him. Her Mom is pretty cool too, Jenny (younger sister) not only got me a job, but is a great drinking buddy because she somehow keeps up without getting drunk (she weights like 100 pounds, tops). Brian (younger brother) is probably going to be flamingly gay when he's older, but is a really nice kid, and Claire (odd older sister) actually seems to like me more than anyone else in the house. So it's not to bad, besides the heat. The only person I have any trouble with at all is Lisa, and that's something I've seen coming for a while.

I've been listening to the Stones alot. Being here makes me feel like hot shit, the coolest motherfucker in the land, simply because everyone here is just ridiculous, for lack of better words. The men are womenly, the women are wicked, and the kids all have parents that WANT to you tell their kids to stop being little shits. None of these people would last a happy second in Dawson, so I feel like the King down here.

EVERYONE has heaps of drama, but there's a pub half a block away (Moosehead Ale kicks ass), and Jenny is always willing to buy me beer and smoke and drink with me without any drama beyond Lisa getting jealous over it.

I'm a horrible influence, but if I have to be in Hell, I'm sure as fucking heaven going to be the Devil.

I watched a hornet eat the face of a dead mouse today. I was walking down Burke Street when I saw it.

This place is morbid.


I start work as a baker on Tuesday. I know nothing about baking, and now have to convince Lisa I have no interest in her sister (who got me the job). Still, it should be fun, and who doesn't love pastries?

I'm just about to finish the second and last season of Twin Peaks.

If you haven't seen it, Twin Peaks is a sort of soap-operaish drug trip produced in the 1990s by the mind of David Lynch. It's also better than sex.

Anyway, I've got three episodes left, and I just know this'll leave off at a horrible cliffhanger.

I'm going to miss Coop and Harry, and Andy crying everytime someone dies, and The Man From Another Place's dancing. I'm going to miss staring at Audrey. I'm REALLY going to miss Leo, the World's Most Deserving Retard.

Really, I think I'm going to rewatch them all within a week here, but seriously, why is it every time I find one of those rare TV shows I love, they never come to a real conclusion?

Oh well. I supose twin peaks being a small town, it's probably better this way. They're just about out of residents to kill off.



I think one of Sa's parents just rolled out of bed. Either that or the house is collapsing.

So, for clarification:

Texting some guy to meet up while you think I'm sleeping is a bad move.

I don't care if you work with him or whatever your reasoning is. If you apparently feel a need to be sneaky about it, it looks REAL bad, and I'm going to assume you're not going over to pick your stuff up or whatever your other reasonings were.

Especially if you leave two hours before you work to do it.

I'm going back to B.C. This is a waste of my time, and since I've got that place in PG now, I don't really have to worry about getting stuck back in Dawson.

Today:

I walked around looking for work.

Then I went to the bar.

I threw up twice.

Then I went to the St. John's quiet place, and walked the labarynth while reciting the Lord's prayer.

Then I talked to the Catholic priest for an hour.

I don't know. I need something right now, anything really. The girl I'm here for doesn't need me here, and I can't understand why else I'd be here.

You know things are rough when I find religion.

You know things are rough when I have to tell your mother why I'm half-cut at two in the afternoon.

You know things are rough, and so do I. I've never been so lost in my life.

At first I thought I was fucking with Eris. Now I see that Eris is fucking with me.


"Another story of Eris includes Hera, and the love of Polytekhnos and Aedon. They claimed to love each other more than Hera and Zeus were in love. This angered Hera, so she sent Eris to rack discord upon them. Polytekhnos was finishing off a chariot board, and Aedon a web she had been weaving. Eris said to them, "Whosoever finishes thine task last shall have to present the other with a female servant!" Aedon won. But Polytekhnos was not happy by his defeat, so he came to Khelidon, Aedon's sister, and raped her. He then disguised her as a slave, presenting her to Aedon. When Aedon discovered this was indeed her sister, she chopped up Polytekhnos' son and fed him to him. The gods were not pleased, so they turned them all into birds."

Hey Judas, I think you made a grave mistake. Hey Peter, you've been pretty good since easter break.

Good things about here:

Really big trees
Really old buildings
Parliament cigarettes
Sa is here

Bad things about here:

Smelly
Humid
You're gone
Mostly everything else

This is going to be very, very long for only being a few months.

I've had the hooker music from Twin Peaks stuck in my head for the last two weeks, so I'm watching it again in the hopes that it goes away. I'm bout to get gloriously stoned. It makes these sort of shows better.

I have spent too much time drinking lately. Sure, pot is evil, wicked, mean, and nasty, but it really feels so much better for you.

I forgot how weird this movie is, straight off the bat. The show is just sort of odd, but funny, the movie is dark and strange. They're both pretty good.

Lisa and I watched Natural Born Killers tonight. I remember watching that on mushrooms, and looking back, it was probably less trippy than watching sober was tonight. You EXPECT to see that sort of stuff on shrooms.

We're leaving for Ottawa on the 18th. It should be something else.

Anyways, I wanna watch this shit. Maybe I'll write something later.

Whee, some time to post things in.

Things have been pretty good. Spent the last week with Julie and Lisa in PG. We stayed on Julie's floor and in this cottage thing she rented us. Apparently it was used to film a lame movie in, and I wouldn't be suprised to find a "leftover" camera hidden behind the furnace vent above the bed. It wasn't too bad a place once you got past the creepy owners.

Hung out with Henney and Alex a bit, watched ALOT of movies/TV, and done all that fun "couple" stuff.

Tomorrow we have supper with someone, then we're.... hopefully going to bed really early. I'm tired enough to have totally lost where I'm going and not be able to remember anything properly, so I guess this will finish later.

I wasn't going to blog because I thought I'd be whiney and wouldn't have anything good to say.

Turns out I'm not going to blog cause I'm really busy.

But just so you know,

They lived happily ever after. Really.

Well, I'm not sleeping right now. I'm sort of excited, this is going to be a fun time I think. Not that I've ever really looked forward to a month of monogamous sex (who are we kidding) and hanging out with maybe three different people before. I guess I'm just happy where things are right now. I'm actually going to go do something *thumbs up*

Anyway, I don't really have alot to say, I guess. This is probably the last blog for a while, blahblahblah, yeah. I'm just not tired, which makes for an unfortunately low-quality sort of filler.

So I guess here's more music, and I'll talk to you sooner or later!

Don Henley is better than the Ataris, even if his comments section is 1.5 times as pathetic.





P.S. Soph, I was harsh and I'm sorry for that, but you know you and I make pretty shitty friends anyway.

Last day of free time

Aw man, and no one's even going to find out that even happened. Well that just sucks.

Why is it I can always get away with anything I want and no one ever calls me on my shit, and at the end of the day I come out on top and everyone still apparently loves me? Come on. That's horrible.


Anyway, I feel really good. Like, REALLY good. Nothing could phase me too much right now I don't think. I'd forgotten how nice it is to be THIS happy about things. Seriously, this is nuts.


One more post tomorrow, then you guys are going to have to find something better to read for a while.

I know the whole "blog ending going away" mood is supposed to be sort of serious or some shit like that, but what the hell is that?




Now that I've looked up what they are, I'm pretty sure they're a rape aid.

And on that note...

Well, I had a pretty good night, regardless of whatever you guys are saying. It was just a good example of what happens if no one plans anything at all, but I still thought it was alright for the most part. It just ended ALOT earlier than it should have, but I guess I could of fixed that if I felt like watching Alex and her boyfriend pick on eachother while pretending to play poker. Ok, so, good night with a lame ending, haha.

If you really think you would have had more fun reading a children's novel, well, lame thing for a good friendship to end with, but I wish you and your books a good life and at least I won't miss you either. :) I said "plan something if you want", not "make me drag you to my friend's house", so don't look at me.


Anyway, only one more day. This is getting pretty close, and I assume that this will be one of my final posts. I'm betting this next month would be horrible to read about, so I'll spare you that, but I might pick it up again when I leave. I'll need somewhere to whine about how stupidly humid it is down there, and post pictures of me making obscene images in the red sand.

Since my plans tomorrow don't involve me leaving the house (parents are gone, people are coming here, oooo), this is probably the last time I'll see (or talk to, since I don't really talk to people here on MSN) anyone for a little bit, so I guess I bid adieu to anyone reading this that I don't know about.

Cue nostalgia.

I feel like running around and breaking stuff today. In a fun way.

Supposed to be drinking with Lindsay, Sam, and Justin at some point, but it's looking like I might just go to Alex's instead, since she's currently wanting to do something, and I'm bored of sitting around. Linds, remind me to get a more exact time off you next time. I always forget you usually do things pretty late and waste my whole day waiting around to hang out otherwise. Anyway, if I do go over there, you've got the number and shit I think, hopefully ya track me down. I just don't have a heap of time left and kind of want to cram everything into it, haha.

I love that Gwar song. I don't know why. I guess the lyrics are kind of interesting or something, if you actually look them up. Maybe it's the picture the video stops at, haha. I've been listening to alot of really old music lately. Even broke out the NOFX the other day. Yup.

Well, I'm out of shit to say.

I watched V for Vendetta stoned again. I guess I forgot why I don't do that.

I get that it's your gimmick, and it's very impressive, but the practical side of me FUCKING HATES that V-repetition thing you do. Seriously, a masked politico-criminal should be able to convey himself much more understandably. Do you really think lower-class Britain has a vocabulary to keep up with yours?

Weed makes me mad at movies, apparently.

Cutting grass with an axe.

If a girl asks you a question, and really wants an honest answer,

and that honest answer happens to be "Well yeah, honestly it does make you look incredibly slutty, I just don't really care because it doesn't affect me and you aren't", an opinion you've long held but never shared,

who's at fault for the insuing fight?


Bleh. Don't ask me questions just to get pissed off at what I have to say about them.


Anyway, did you know it's really hard to cut a tree down when it's on a ridge above you? It's also fun to guess where it's falling.

I've never had this much fun mowing the lawn before.

It's always sunny in the morning, it sucks around the ending of the night.

Twin Peaks still won't work on SurfTheChannel.com, and it's starting to annoy me.

I think I have two readers now. Yipee. To answer Asshole's question, I'm going to the east coast, about as far away as I can get on a limited budget. I've got a place to live there for cheap and everything, so *thumbs up*.

Anyway, here's a few songs for all the confused people out there. I kinda get the feeling no one really knows what the fuck they're doing anymore*, and while I may know where I'm going and how I'm getting there, I don't really know what I'm doing once I'm there any better.







By the way, both bars and myself frown on lighting pictures of pretty girls on fire then throwing them into drink cups. Obviously he's never accidentally lit his legs on fire playing with flammable liquor.



*Except the good folks out in the patch. It doesn't really matter what sort of life they have planned, because they'll probably have enough cash to do whatever they want anyway.

Wow, now that I think about it, three years and you were still being a douche at the start of this one. And this is actually horrifyingly typical of people I know down here.

All that said, I'd like to think most of my friends know what I think about them, and even if it isn't nessicarily positive, obviously still hang out with me. I don't try to hide my opinions, I just don't point them out to most people.

Besides, while I don't think I'm a woman, I'm certainly a blameless whiney man-child who won't do anything for himself sometimes, and I think even that is someone else's fault. So really, what does my opinion on it matter anyway? If you really break it down, no one should really care what anyone else is, since we're all pretty shite in certain ways ourselves sometimes.

Anyways, I am really NOT going to miss any of this shit at all, and I'm going to horribly fuck up any chance of ever having a life here again before I leave just so I don't come back for a LONG, LONG time.


I've spent the last 40 minutes rolling joints without thinking about it.

It's time to go get stoned, haha.

I'M IN A BIG BE A DICK TO EVERYONE MAD MOOD LATELY AND YOU ALL WILL PAY FOR IT

I don't care if it's selfish or anti-social or whatever. I fucking hate when people call me, especially when I'm online and they are too.

I mean, yeah, nice you want to talk to me, but I'm fucking busy and don't really like people enough in general to drop what I'm doing to go find a phone and listen to whatever it is you want to talk about. It's annoying. I'm in the middle of something, then suddenly I just have to pretend like that doesn't matter at all and listen to drivel.


It's one thing if I'm not online or told you to do it, or even if you're doing it just because but still have something real to say. But seriously. Stop fucking phoning me, everyone.


Anyway, I was drawing something to post before all this. I shall try to finish that.

Lisa says (8:02 PM):
you know i almost forgot how sweet you are when you actually want to show you care

Awe.


I only have one friend who knows who Fred Penner is. I am in shock and this is probably the bad shit I was expecting.



Fred Penner was my Mister Dressup as a kid. Canadian public TV is so cool, Christ.

Marissa says (3:17 PM):
I would show you my new tattoo but it's on my computer and I'm on my phone.
Steven says (3:17 PM):
More flowers? Haha
Marissa says (3:17 PM):
It's not a flower, so you can't kiss it.


Quotes taken out of context = fun.

This blog will soon become just an archive of my MSN chats.

WELL. I'm really glad that that's probably all it'll turn out to be.
I'm not gonna get mad like before. I'm just going to reserve my right to fuck on off, and I'm really going to enjoy the next part here, yay.

I've been watching Twin Peaks lately. It's good.

It's my dad's birthday tomorrow. I wish it wasn't. I want to sleep all day, and then the next. I think I'm still sick.

Still waiting on that bad thing.

I have a Jewish friend. Did you know that? I didn't know that.


Steven says (1:08 AM):
I don't really know any Jews. I think you're like my first officially Jewish friend.
Hannah says (1:08 AM):
Haha, I'm honored.
I don't know if I count though, I'm only ethnically Jewish.
Got the Bat Mitzvah money and ran.
Steven says (1:09 AM):
It's likely as close as I'll ever get. I suspect everyone lapses untill they're old, and I'll probably die before then.
Judaism isn't really a "fun" religion, as far as I can tell.

I've got a sinking feeling something REALLY bad is about to happen.

Also,



I don't remember who showed me these, but Faggotron is the best.

This is going to sound really stupid.

But you share a birthday.

He died the year you were born.

You both drink as much as I do.

You're just a grumpy as him.

You're artistic.

You attract the misfits too.


I'm pretty sure you're his reincarnation, because I've never met anyone I can relate to more than him, and I've never met anyone I have technically more in common with than you.

Marla says (9:43 PM):
I'm Hannah
We did not have a rap battle
We met over a common interest in Built to Spill
Marla says (9:44 PM):
Once I talked to you for like, 3 hours after I took 200 mg of amphetamines and went to a Lightning Bolt show
Ringing any bells?


Haha, I love the women I attract. I also have to stop nicknaming them on MSN when I'm drunk.

Hannah (NJ) says (9:46 PM):
I use to smoke a ton of weed and do a lot of drugs but I'm not into that anymore. I don't know if you remember that.

Interestingly, I both do and don't remember that, because I'm pretty sure whoever you are killed her and took her place, since you don't seem to remember any of it either.

I don't remember asking her about a rap battle either, so I guess maybe we've had this conversation before and I just do too many drugs.

I keep losing my sticky notes.

July 24th
YQU - GP
3:00 PM Alta time
Lounge open noon for pre-game.


There, just TRY to forget now.

I've been really sick lately, but today feels better. Lindsay brought me out food and I think having something semi-real helped alot.

I hate being sick, because
A) I never get sick.
and
B) No matter what I have, it manifests itself as my skin hurting and a fever. I used to be a sickly little kid, and pretty much every diseased moment of my youth was spent with these things.

Anyway, I can now move and go around the house without wanting to die now, haha. Made some burgers today and I suspect I'll be healthy in no time.

Videodrome

I"m really suprized I haven't written about this yet.

And I wanna go watch it now, so I guess I still haven't yet.

Here's some excerpts from the wiki, to tide ya over.

Videodrome is a 1983 Canadian science fiction thriller film written and directed by David Cronenberg, starring James Woods, Sonja Smits, and singer Deborah Harry.

Plot
Max Renn (James Woods) is the president of CIVIC-TV (Channel 83, Cable 12), a sleazy Toronto UHF television station specializing in sensationalistic programming. Displeased with his station's current lineup (which mostly consists of softcore pornography), Max is on a seemingly endless quest for something that isn't so "soft" and will "break through" to a new audience.

One morning, Max is summoned to the clandestine office of Harlan (Peter Dvorsky), who operates CIVIC-TV's pirate satellite dish which can pirate broadcasts from as far away as Asia. Harlan shows him "Videodrome," a plotless television show apparently being broadcast out of Malaysia, which depicts the brutal torture and eventual murder of anonymous victims in a bizarre, reddish-orange chamber. Believing this to be the future of television— (staged) snuff TV— Max orders Harlan to begin pirating the show.


Yup. Really weird, but much better than "Lost Hiway" and all those other Cronenbergs you actually hear about.

Speaking of weird, I'm sure I've posted something from Stalker on here before, but here's probably my favorite scene from one of the best movies out there.

Sitting infront of the tv watching decades old cartoons and missing the nineties, while smashed and reciting the shitty comercials in a corny vampire voice.

That's not exactly the best but it's pretty fucking good, yeh?

Sean Connery punches like and old school cowboy.

Seriously, I've heard he slapped a hooked and she landed half a block away. I would not want to get punched by Sean Connery.

Man, I am FUCKING WASTED.

I must be stoned. We're talking about sex and us and I feel like we're two old boxers talking about slugging it out in days gone by.

I really don't like what you became.


I'm going to go out and find something young and stupid, and I'm going to fuck it once and never talk to it again.

I'm going to repeat untill I feel better about this.

One thing I've never done with a beautiful woman is play chess.

Haha, you ARE a weenie.

Oh well, most of them are.


I had something to write here that I wanted to write for a while, but it slips my mind now. I'll come back and edit this later.



You have invited Stephanie to start Checkers. Please wait for a response or Cancel (Alt+Q) the pending invitation.

Stephanie has declined your invitation to start Checkers.

Steven says (6:39 PM):
Damn.
Stephanie says (6:39 PM):
Fuck.
Steven says (6:40 PM):
Tourettes! Tourettes!
Stephanie says (6:41 PM):
I was hoping we were just spewing out swear words.
So I went with it.
Steven says (6:41 PM):
You have invited Stephanie to start Checkers. Please wait for a response or Cancel (Alt+Q) the pending invitation.

Stephanie has declined your invitation to start Checkers.

Steven says (6:39 PM):
Damn.

No one will play checkers with me. I feel six again.
Stephanie says (6:41 PM):
OH, LOL.
Stephanie says (6:42 PM):
Who else wouldn't play with you.
Steven says (6:42 PM):
Paul. Only cause I don't think he's ever beaten me.
Hardly my fault he really sucks at checkers.
Stephanie says (6:43 PM):
I wanted to make you suffer a bit longer.
But I didn't actually reject your invitation.
My MSN just doesn't let me do anything.
I didn't even see it.
Steven says (6:45 PM):
Ah. So no one will play checkers with me and my only friend is the slow girl who CAN'T play checkers.
I AM six again. Yay
Stephanie says (6:49 PM):
Do you know how to play Chess.
Steven says (6:49 PM):
I try?
Stephanie says (6:49 PM):
Want to?
Steven says (6:49 PM):
We can do that?
Stephanie says (6:49 PM):
flyordie.com
Want to?


This is probably the hottest conversation I've had all week. Girls who look nice but can beat me horribly at chess, that's the best.

Missed by *this* much.

British movies are better because even in the comedies, all these sad, horrible things happen to all the characters.

It makes me all warm and fuzzy.

Chinaski

in the hospitals and jails
it's the worst
in madhouses
it's the worst
in penthouses
it's the worst
in skid row flophouses
it's the worst
at poetry readings
at rock concerts
at benefits for the disabled
it's the worst
at funerals
at weddings
it's the worst
at parades
at skating rinks
at sexual orgies
it's the worst
at midnight
at 3 a.m.
at 5:45 p.m.
it's the worst

falling through the sky
firing squads
that's the best

thinking of India
looking at popcorn stands
watching the bull get the matador
that's the best

boxed lightbulbs
an old dog scratching
peanuts in a celluloid bag
that's the best

spraying roaches
a clean pair of stockings
natural guts defeating natural talent
that's the best

in front of firing squads
throwing crusts to seagulls
slicing tomatoes
that's the best

rugs with cigarette burns
cracks in sidewalks
waitresses still sane
that's the best

my hands dead
my heart dead
silence
adagio of rocks
the world ablaze
that's the best
for me.

Lindsay- The touch of your lips is a shock not a kiss, it's electric twist, an electric twist. says (2:20 AM):
I never really thought about it before, but I am now. And it's like wow, hmm... I kinda get it now
Steven says (2:21 AM):
I'm not at all sure what we're talking about anymore, hah.
Lindsay- The touch of your lips is a shock not a kiss, it's electric twist, an electric twist. says (2:22 AM):
Before I never really checked you out, you know? Never paid attention to whether or not your good looking, cause your Steven, my big brother kinda thing. But now I am and it's like, I see why girls are always trailing after you. Your pretty handsome.
Steven says (2:22 AM):
HAH, I don't think I've ever gotten a girl with looks in my life.
Lindsay- The touch of your lips is a shock not a kiss, it's electric twist, an electric twist. says (2:23 AM):
you probably have, just don't realise it
Steven says (2:23 AM):
Maybe.


But not at all, really.

I know how I get girls, but it's not my job to give all myself away.

I guess to prove a point, though you'll probably never re-read this, WE dated, and you never looked before.

I stand by my looks comments.

Anyway. I have more to write on other things, this is just a placeholder.

I am caught between being happy and realizing this is a REALLY bad idea in alot of ways.

But, it'll be fun and a good time had by all and something new to do and who knows, maybe some of my bad ideas will work out once and a while, right?

Anyway, I think I'm done going to the bar for a while. So, in that light, I'm going to have to go make my own steak. Maybe I'll write more later in Blogger saves this little blurb.

Who we are?

I copied and pasted the wrong thing. Now I can't find the rest. Drugs are bad and doing nothing is worse.

But ANYWAY, here's the music video I wanted to put up with something else, so listen to it and, yeah.

Today was a total blank and absolutely nothing happened or will happen before now and bedtime.

I am being "smart" and good and staying out of trouble, yes.

Even I can turn down a drink.

it in the back of your truck
alexandra-marie says (10:52 AM):
hey since igave you 60 bucks and my tab was only 30 bucks can you buy me a pack of kokanee tall cans and come drink them with me at regans, everyones gone and the dogs have mites so i have to wait til savannah gets back with the remedy to take zes home
alexandra-marie says (10:53 AM):
and i really want a cold crisp beer right now
work is so exhausting
did you get your drums?
i fell sleep pretty early yesterday i just got your message today
alexandra-marie says (10:54 AM):
steve you must answer
alexandra-marie says (10:55 AM):
also after this if you do get me beer and zes gets her shit do you wanna go swimming and drink there at man maid? its so nice out today
im gunna call you cuz this sounds like a kick ass plan
alexandra-marie says (10:58 AM):
kay i just did you should wake up man
i'll probably go to sleep around 3 so soooo wake on up!
alexandra-marie says (11:01 AM):
ekaw pu!
alexandra-marie says (11:17 AM):
k im going homne now call me there
alexandra-marie says (11:38 AM):
steve wake up
come oooooon lets go swimm and drink beers
alexandra-marie says (11:45 AM):
steeeeve did you come to my house yesterday or was i haveing a savage lucid dream
alexandra-marie says (11:51 AM):
come on
alexandra-marie says (11:54 AM):
steve
steve
steve
steve
alexandra-marie says (11:57 AM):
steve what the sit
shit
dont make me call your house again
alexandra-marie says (12:06 PM):
why are you being a jerk

Then on facebook. The calling ever five minutes is a classy touch too.


I'm using your "30 bucks" to buy bullets,then going out with Carter and Henney. If we didn't already drink it all. Sorry.

P.S. I did get the drums, but me and Lou had to break into your buddy's house to get them, since no one was home and you weren't available. Yup.

Letter To Haley

Hey,

So, don't know that you'll be reading this or use this particular address anymore, but I don't remember your blog address and the last time I was on there things weren't smooth.

Anyway, I wanted to say sorry for cutting you out like that. It was a dick move, and I do totally realize this, but hopefully now you understand it a little more. Really not the right thing to do, but definately the healthy thing, blah blah blah, etc. etc.

But that's not really the point. The point is, fundementally you're a good person and a nice girl, and I treated you like most of the incredible bitches I tend to date, which was not at all the way a man should act, and I feel bad about it. I don't really expect us to be buddies or anything now, or really even for you to have probably thought of this beyond a few months after it happened, but hopefully you get this anyway.




I'm not usually appologetic, even when I do do scuzzy selfish shit, but I was rereading through some of her emails. Besides being pathetically grovelly for someone so bright, they made me feel bad for treating someone that probably understood things really quickly like someone deserving of scorn, and that wasn't right.

Anyway, guess emails are good enough and hopefully every's all happy and shit whereever they are.

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies.

One thing I've noticed about butterflies is that they don't ever chnge much, though.

I Was A Girly Little Douchebag, pt. I

OH MAN.

Ok, I can't actually post this after all, mostly because I'm tearing up too much to see the screen to type things. As i've learned, reading back through an angsty youth journal with the thoughs of posting something funny and embarassing from when you were alot dumber is hard to do.

Basically, I got to the page where I'm asking one girl to dinner on my 6th month with another girl and somehow still feeling bad for myself, and I started laughing so hard that I can't really sit up without getting a cramp now.

I really will post some of it sometime. Maybe not out of this book (labled "BURN THIS ONE", lawl), since it's horrifyingly like a more angsty emo Henry Rollins that most of the others (and in all the wrong ways), but I will eventually find a horribly embarassing story, since awkwardness is funny no matter who's it is.

Still depressingly boring. I don't mean in the sense that things are just horrible, since it's really pretty tough for any present moment to really be all THAT bad unless you want it to be. I mean in the way that they're just slightly lame, and for what is supposed to be the best days of our lives, any lameness creates a bit of a depressing aura. I don't have a whole lot going for me beyond being really good at out smoking everyone and generally being happy about things, and while that's fine for now, "Did I ever tell you about the time I stayed at home and did nothing, but was happy about it?" makes for a really stupid story to tell when you're old. I've DONE lots of shit, but I remember half of what I should, can tell a quarter of it without seeming odd, and have done none of it anytime recently*. I have fun, but it's sort of repetative, in-a-rut fun.

Anyway. Lots of bars lately. Fun times at Eagan's in GP and sort of awkward but fun (for me) times outside the Casino. I suspect there were fun times in Rock City and in the Casino too, so really it worked out pretty well for everyone since I only had to put up with a little weirdness over vomit, annoying guys, and who knows what else could have happened, and that's usually good enough at a bar.

Went to Finnigan's with Alex beforehand. Turns out I know the owner, which doesn't really make him less weird. Alex brought the bartender to GP, but ditched him. It was kinda pathetic, but Lindsay thought he was cute (XD), and I didn't really have to watch him be desperate, so it was pretty ok too.

Went to Rockwell's and the DC Casino with Henney today. Drank alot of beer and ate some insanely good food. I also beat Henney at pool 3 of 5, which was really suprising since I've never seen anyone beat him. I guess there's an advantage to drinking alot lately, even if I can't walk right, I can still maintain a sober pool game. We drove to the gravel pits behind my house and hiked the mile or so into the rimrocks, then smoked wayy too few joints and climbed around for a while. I hadn't walked in there before, but it was probably pretty good for me and was a nice way to kill an afternoon.


I don't really have much more to say right now I guess. This has been another boring post about nothing.



*The other quarter is things I don't think I CAN tell people, either because I'd have to start saying "how are yeh?" and generally acting like everybody's favorite vampiric wank again, or because it makes somebody else look even worse than that. Yay!

I'm feeling all impressed withmyself for opening a bottle of wine with my thumbs.

I'm feeling more impressed because I'm somehow managing to drink this shitty wine.

I had something of importance to write, but now I've got a good buzz and no memory, so I guess that's not happening.

I just finished re-reading Maus.I think I got alot more out of it this time.

Basically, it's a Holocaust story, and fuck, I feel like I'm writing a book report. I either need to be much more or much less drunk for that shit.

Um. Yeah. I don't know. I think I'll just start posting whatever I write on paper. It's easier than coming up with new bullshit for here all the time, yes.

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Steven says (9:13 PM):
My booze smells like boots.
What a sad excuse for a Canada Day
Paul says (9:17 PM):
i'm about to have the time of my life tomorrow.
Steven says (9:17 PM):
Oh?
Paul says (9:18 PM):
vegas. tomorrow. 21 now.
Steven says (9:19 PM):
Wicked.
Paul says (9:21 PM):
want to come?
Steven says (9:21 PM):
Love to, couldn't get there in time
Paul says (9:21 PM):
i'll use my instant telepotty.
Steven says (9:22 PM):
What're your plans when you're there?
Paul says (9:23 PM):
-shrug- hit up some titty bars, toss back a few, game at the arcade and get laid if i'm lucky.
Steven says (9:23 PM):
...or buy a hooker.
I hear they're quite classy down there.
Steven says (9:24 PM):
Besides, it's something everyone has to try at least once before they turn 25.
Paul says (9:25 PM):
what? whores?
Steven says (9:27):
No, getting laid. BAM!


That one's for Neil Patrick Harris. It wasn't as funny as when he did it.

The last post was uncatagorized, yeah, that's happening.

I hung out with both Brendan and Lindsay today, and I noticed that I seem to have alot of subconsiously gender-confused friends. Not in any negative way. I just have stereotypical girl conversations about who's a bitch, life, big plans, etc. etc. with alot of my guy friends, and stereotypical guy conversations about hot chicks, cars, getting smashed, etc. etc, with my girl friends. Both are nice, since it's a different perspective in a weird way about shit I wouldn't think about other wise on one end, and actual fun casual hanging out on the other, but it still comes out that a good chunk of the guys are more womanly than the girls*.

I think this says alot about me, but it's not much of a blog if I say just what.







*Either by being gay with more girlish interests, or by being weiners.

The Rise And Fall Of Western Catagorization

To all concerned: We here on this here blog thing are going to try to start fucking with catagories, so that all my reader can enjoy re-reading all her cherished moments and favorite tales here at Barlies At The Beach.

Due to a lack of any federal funding for this great project and the lack of any real substance in any of the posts here, coupled with the fact that our wonderful fan probably reads all this shit once and has no need to go look any of it up, we doubt this project will ever be completed.


But yeah, gonna start trying to think up tags and shit anyway. Cause I'm horribly fucking bored. Obviously.

And he did open the seventh seal...

This blog is for Lindsay because she's sad over a wang doing wang stuff. I wrote it while really drunk, and drunk stories always make me feel better. So feel better, now that Sam's my buddy again we need to get smashed, and a manically hyper Lindsay is better than a sad one.

I also wrote this from across the room. So fuck spellings.


You scurry home after a nice late meal, full and fat. You make the long distance quickly and with ease, possessing an almost unnatural and earily beautiful agility, hurling along with a stamina given to few. You're nearly home to your warm, dark little abode, when the ground begins to tremble and shake with an almost divine fury. You look up towards the painful light-sky and see massive shapesfar above yu. A thuderous sound comes from above, as a terrifying shadow falls over you. You move supernaturally fast across the landscape, seeking shelter. Left, right. Anything you hide behind, anything you cover yourself with is ripped away, as the world seems to fly apart around you. Suddenly, you sense something hurtling down towards you. You let out a silent chittering scream and try futily to escape as the Book of Revelations smashes through your head. Your body explodes with a satisfying pop as you are reduced to a twitchy pulp by the Big Red Bible O'Death I just dropped on your furry ass.

"AND YOU SHALL KNOW MY NAME I THE LORD, WHEN I CAST DOWN MY VENGEANCE OPON YOU!" I say, as I clean the nasty spider guts off my bible. I feel quite righteous and Godlike, and I know I'm totally going to blog about this.


So, see, it could, uh, always be worse? You could be a creepy fucking bug with eight legs and body hair? I don't know, killing spiders sure cheers me up!

I really hate when I'm insanely bored, and hang out with people I don't have much in common with. They're nice to get high with or have a drink with or whatever, but for some reason they typically just amplify my boredom and I find myself wanting to tell them absurd lies and excuses just so I don't have to be around them anymore.

Yup.



Edit: I think I hung out with Brendan right after I wrote this. Should be noted that I don't mean him since we still have good stoned chats without having anything much in common.

Such pretty, pretty, pretty girls.

I haven't had a whole lot to write about lately I' nice and perfectly comfortable and don't want to leave my cave at all today.

I'll probably have to go buy pot off R, which means hanging around and meeting his bipartisan mentor guy who's staying with him. In R's own words: "He's a good guy like I'm a good guy". So yeah, I'd buy off Alex, but she's living there as far as I can tell. Oh well. Maybe I won't buy weed today

Well, I'm too lazy to write anymore right now too. Back to sleep, it's early-is.

We're so pretty, oh so pretty.. vaaayycant!

Here's some pretty things while I come up with some shit to write. It'll probably be boring and about dwarves. YOu'll see.






So yeah. Lame placeholder, now Lindsay must write shit.

I always think it's funny when people try to insult my intelligence.

I know I'm pretty dumb when it comes to most things. I know ALOT about certain things, but I can admit I don't care or know anything about anything outside of those interests. The only people who ever really imply I'm smart are those who think calling me stupid is somehow offensive.

Personally, I think the less you know, the happier you are. I used to have some big thing with "truthiness" and all that shit, but now that I look back, I wish I actually knew even less about shit. Knowledge and the ability to figure things out are not your friends. There are alot of unpleasant truths in the world, and quite honestly, I think nowdays that the odds of them no affecting you directly are pretty good, and you're better off just leaving them alone and not trying to put anything together.

So yeah, I wouldn't worry too much about opinions on how smart I am. I like being ignorant and dumb sometimes, and I'm completely willing to admit it.

More happy things!

It's been a while since I've written anything. I don't know if I mentioned it elsewhere, but I was up in FSJ working for about five weeks, and I wrote alot of sort of half decent shit then. I'll probably put it up later.

However, the overall summary:


Fort Saint John Job:
Duration: Apr 10th - May 22nd
Hours Worked: ALOT
Money Blown: $1500<
Numbers Gotten: 4, none of whom are really all that callable now that I'm not stuck there.
Drug Connections: 2, one also being a number.
Weed Smoked (gs): 210 plus a little hash.
Beers Drank: 10?
Shit Dealt With: 3 (My boss, Demo boss, old fucker who I should have let get himself killed anyway. DO NOT WALK UNDER THE BUILDING WHILE IT'S COLLAPSING is not something I should have to tell people who are just going to be dicks about it anyway).
Things Looted:
Sin City DVD and Book
Good Fellas DVD
Bottles of Wine (didn't count them, probably around a dozen. And I ended up finding the owner and returning them anyway after drinking one with some dude)
Four Canadians (Which I gave to the aformentioned dude, who got me good and smashed in return)
Parties Attended: 2
Steaks Eaten: 5 (my weed buddy really could BQ like a champ)
Times Thrown Up: 3 (all within 20 minutes, right after I'd eaten an apple on a sober day. Yeah, I don't get it either)

Anyway, that's about all I remember right now. I've got like a chest cold or something, so I'm kinda feeling shitty and can't think too good. All and all, it was a good time, and I actually didn't really want to take off since they were supposed to be getting their fair the day we left (they postponed it due to shit weather).

I'll have to call M (what she's listed as in the phone. I think it was Melissa or something, but I'll really have to stop abbreviating EVERY "M" name (from Marissa to Mike) as M), since I promised her acid if I could get some, but really, I was a shocked as anyone else at home by many numbers I actually got. Especially since I had very few clothes and looked like shit the whole time. FSJ girls are REALLY friendly (to be polite), and I guess they just haven't ever met guys who aren't totally convinced that women should be silent cleaning tools yet.

Well, that's the trip. I'm sick and tired and doing something else now.

Cabbages

So, since I know there's a decent chance you'll find this if you haven't already, at least if you do any looking for blogs in Dawson, here's a thought I have that I honestly think you're too worthless of a person to actually be told:

If everyone constantly "betrays" you and your life is always miserable, maybe it's because you're some kind of asshole. I mean, that makes more sense than literally everyone in the world being a dick.

I realized it, and even if I'm not there yet, I'm really trying to grow the fuck up and not be such an ignorant emo faggot about absolutely everything. Thus why I have actual friends now and don't need to hang out with shit like you like I did in highschool. Make a better effort to stay out of my life this time and don't guilt me into talking to you by crawling to me and moping like a pathetic little bitch again.

Toodles.


P.S. The reason you'd whine to that Eden chick about me thinking her "vape pipe" is actually just a crack pipe Ironheadz probably made her overpay for (had you been paying attention, I didn't critize the pipe, just the likely price) is because bitching about all your "friends" behind their backs to whoever will listen is a very you thing to do (remember how many years you did it to me?).




Names have been changed because in retrospect, you'll know who you are if you wander across this.

Steven gets the kids drunk, part 26

Phillip
I've got a really small baseball bat that might work?

5:50pmAngelika
YES, small baseball bats for the win!!

5:51pmPhillip
Wicked. I'll trade you for...

Vodka?

5:52pmAngelika
or... my next pay, i could get money, and make you go get booze!!

5:52pmPhillip
Could do that. I ususally charge five bucks or just a couple shots.

5:53pmAngelika
Or you could just have some...? Lol

5:53pmPhillip
Shots it is!

5:54pmAngelika
LOL, i've never actually taken a shot b4.... of vodka anyways.

5:54pmPhillip
jaw drop

5:54pmAngelika
i know, i know....

5:54pmPhillip
When are yeh getting paid?

5:55pmAngelika
The 23rd, but i work the next day, so we may have to kidnap bri aswell, so i can crash with her,



I'm going to hell, but I'm gonna be good and smashed when I get there.




And seriously. Who the fuck is Katie Crust? I think I've even rated about this shit on here before. Get off my MSN, you undeletable psycho-stalking whore! Kidding, you're probably a wonderful person and all that shit, and don't ever bother me (hi is easy to ignore). But really. Fuck off anyway.


Welp, I'm still bloody bored. Scraping the pipes all day is not a fun task.

I'm supposed to chill with Stephanie D. tomorra. She's probably my favorite "casual friend" at the moment, since she's usually got something decent to say, can appreciate silence, and gets that hanging out with someone every day is really, really dull and annoying after a while. Actually, the whole casual friend concept is just plain good.

Well, I'm distracted looking through my emails. I've got quite a collection of pictures of fucked up girls I dated that I didn't know I had, and nostalgia is funny shit.

Today, I go to Grande Prarie to...

Do what, really? I like hanging out with Dad, but I don't his compulsion just to drive to the middle of nowhere and back alla time.

I wish I had my own radio station. You gotta admit, it would be kinda cool.

Another post!

Well, I'm nowfucking smashed. White wine, you decive me. Unlike your red cousin, I don't get sick after too many bottles of you. Unfortunately, I do get drunk off my ass without really realizing it. I mean, it's wine. It's not supposed to get you drunk.

Fuck, I really need something to believe in. Since I'm really hammed, we'll be very open in this post.

I've got no direction at all. I'm 20 years old, and by this point, all I can think is "Well, what next?". I mean, I've done absolutely nothing thus far in my life. I haven't changed much of anything for anyone, and I guess I just don't see a point beyond this. So, you get older, you finish school, you do.... what? Work at a shitty dead end job for the rest of your life?

I dunno. I'm clever enough to get what I want from life, I know this, and lots of stupid sheep tell me the same, but I just don't get what I'm supposed to be after. I mean yeah, there's post-secondary, there's growing old, there's all that shit. But is it all like this? Seriously?

It's days like this I sympathize with the suicides. I just don't get it, I guess. I don't get people at all, you can all be so shitty to eachother, you can go through your whole life without even thinking about it, etc. etc. etc. I'm too drunk to explain properly I guess. I just don't get it, and that's brutally depressing. Oh well. Lindsay's coming over soon to take me to the bank, and that'll hopefully take my mind off all this shite.


People keep on saying that I'm going somewhere, tried to buy a map to show me how to get there, now. But they said they'd run out.

Lit cigarette I couldn't smoke, wound the clock until it broke, went to bed, then took a shower, played the T.V. for an hour, did the dishes, made my bed, read a book I've never read...


Stimulants are officially still my least favorite drug. You run around and around and around and you're still fucking bored.

On the plus side, these things are supposed to clear your sinuses, and I gotta say, my nose feels fucking great. Insomuch as noses can.

...It's not like I'm recommending it though.

I got a letter today, announcing that I a finalist for half a million dollars in the Reader's Digest sweepsteaks. According to the letter, only two percent of Canadians are selected for it, and most of them don't bother to reply, giving me a good shot at winning. According to the letter.

I'm not too excited, since I'm one of those people who they describe as thinking "no one ever wins those".

I just wonder why they wouldn't pick someone who's actually got a subscription to their magazine.

Oh hey, I forgot, I have fish on here. That tripped me out a little.

Alex asked if I moved to PG. Chuckle.

Then she asked if my Facebook status was a quote from her.

The only logical response would be "Well, since it's been like two months since we've talked, I think it's safe to say it isn't, and though I'm not moving to PG, I probably wouldn't have told you anyway, for pretty much those same reasons."

Instead, I'm gonna say nothing, cause she'd take that the wrong way, methinks.

That's pretty much the only reason I'd have trouble moving. Everyone I never, ever talk to anymore seems to regularly assure me they'd be offended if I didn't go to the end of the world to track them down and tell them I'm leaving. If you and I never speak, you never answer your phone, whatever, then I really fail to see the issue.

Oh well. Things that make sense to me never seem to make sense to anyone else, anyway.

We kiss the stars, we writhe, we are...

I don't know why so many people seem to think Static-X and Naruto go hand in hand.


Just wanted to put another one up. No idea why I'm listening to them so much before bed lately.



Just realized the first one skips half the song. What the fuck is up with wimpy little anime loving puss boys and static x? You should be out listening to Kraftwerk or something.

Writhe is possibly one of my favorite works.

Is it wrong to let someone become a hardcore alchoholic because you think they're kind of a weak dick, and it's really sort of funny anyway?


Well, actually, not at all in my books. I guess the question is more, is it wrong to be an asshole to them on Facebook because they're constantly smashed and stupid whenever they're on, and you don't really want to talk to them?

It's definately wrong to wish that most of my "friends" were dead or would just leave me the fuck alone, since the most of them I don't want around haven't done anything bad per se, but none of them can take the fucking hint, so I'm left wishing.

Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill!

More Static X. I don't know if I sped them up when I downloaded them, or if they slowed them down to put them to the videos, but all their songs are considerably faster and better on my computer at home. Oh well.

Roller derby girls are total babes, haha. That's a pretty sad excuse for a derby, and I'm pretty sure No. 46 is the same chick as in the last video.

I think I'm gonna make a JTv radio station. If I do, it'll be posted here.

Uh, shit. There was something else.


Oh yeah. Guest contributer is still happening. I'm just stuck in Prince George right now, and since I bought a handgun, I'm here till at least Monday waiting for it to clear (this usually takes about five days, but the old German guy at the gun store assures me he can have it done in three. I'm planning on coming back, just to spend more money in his store). I'll put it up when I get home and can dig up my hard copy.

If anyone is interested, here's the new pistol:

http://world.guns.ru/handguns/hg20-e.htm

I'm pretty pleased with it. Mine's pre-1946, evidenced by the wide bevels on the slide, thusly making it WW II surplus (it's in too good of shape to have actually seen any action, unless they refinished it, or are just building guns out of spare parts without matching numbers. Both of which I don't really give a shit about, so didn't bother to check on). They haven't made actual Russian Tokes since 1954, so even if it's a mismatched piece of shit (I say this with affection), it's guranteed to be slightly rare and worth quite a bit within 20 years. Guns are a pretty good investment for just that reason, they very, very rarely lose value, unless you break them like a tool.

The other one I bought recently, I guess sometime last week, is this 'un:

http://world.guns.ru/assault/as33-e.htm

Mine's identical to the top one, but with a slightly longer barrel (about 420mm as opposed to 390mm). I don't have alot to say about it except that the ammo comes in dirt cheap crates of 2000, it's alot of fun, pretty badass looking, and I plan to use it to kill Americans when they invade. But that's a story for another time, when I have more energy.

I guess that's it, so I'll leave you with some classics.



Skip to 4:14 if you aren't into Jim Croce's kickass mellow tunes. I don't much care for live vids, but you do what you can I guess. He's so much dirtier on CD...

Catatonic Non-Sense

I was gonna write something totally different, but I got about halfway done and became crushingly depressed. I don't see a need to make anyone reading this have that sort of fun too.

So, since she's written about me twice, I'll write about Lindsay instead! Yay!


I like Lindsay cause she's the only person I really believe likes me.


Since I'm still in a pissy bitter mood, and feeling pretty arrogant, I'll point out that I think that's not so much because I suck, but because the majority of you are ridiculously fucking stupid, and I don't really like to get myself into situations where any of you get a chance to talk to me anyway.


Since I'm feeling better now that I've got to say the words "ridiculously fucking stupid", I think I'll keep writing (I was just kidding by the way. I love you all. Except maybe the fucking Catholics. And probably you, since I don't know you and you're fucking weird).

You know what else is ridiculously fucking stupid? Static-X's music videos.



I like the music in certain moods, but that killed about a million braincells to watch.

The video starts with a shot of the band's anarchist crackshack hidaway (plainly an anarchist hideaway, as evidenced by "THEY FEED US LIES" being spraypainted right next to the front door. Plainly a crachshack, as evidenced by the fact that although they apparently have electricity for the instruments, they have to eat lies to survive, and don't have windows or doors or any of those other luxuries.) The music starts with the bassist looking nervously out the window for the cops, and the guitarist playing his guitar like a giant cock while looking like he's giving it to Lauren Graham without a condom.

THEN! In comes the Tomb Raider, and we focus on her walking into.. a disco? Apparently the band opted to buy dozens of disco balls instead of a front door. I've done enough drugs to understand this. She proceeds to write on the wall dramatically, then turns away. She walks to a variety of smashy things mounted on the wall, establishing herself as the girl of my dreams, selects a bat, then knocks a hole in the wall with.. an axe. I rewound the tape to try and make sense of it, and I realized that she must have been pissed off by her inability to write in a straight line.

All throughout this, there are cuts of the band in the crackshack, jumping around and trying as hard as they can to look like they're actually playing something and not just strumming the same three chords over and over again. I've seen live videos of them, and this is pretty much what they look like in real life too.

The next 30 seconds or so is nothing but some Lizzy Borden-type axe things, and the band playing. While I applaud her use of safety glasses, I wonder if using a grinder in a room lit only by discoballs while wearing a BDSM outfit is really a great plan. If you pause at any point while the lead singer is onscreen, you'll note that you can see his brain through his nose, and that he sings with his eyes closed because his voice makes him cringe too. Around 1:13, the bass player goes into this surely badass sort of jumping around playing style, which makes you think he's really hardcore and cool until you realize that he's just high on crack and his guitar isn't even plugged in, and that he's really just the bitch of the band, since they make him stand in a different room and everything.

If you've been paying close attention, you might notice that the chick has finished knocking down two of the four walls by about the two minute mark, and has decided that smashing everything else she owns would be more fun than collapsing the house on herself. If you haven't been watching at all, then you're probably smarter than I gave you credit for, but why the fuck are you still reading this drivel?

Anyway, this is the only part of the video that actually makes alot of sense to me. Since they've spent all their money on crack, disco balls, and copies of The Communist Manifesto, and can't afford food anyway, she starts by smashing the oven. Then she moves on to the plates, offering a prime example of why girls shouldn't be trusted to destroy things at 1:43. Not only is she breaking the only actual window the the house (which is borded up for some reason, likely because the sun causes her pasty goth skin to melt off or something), she totally fails at breaking a shitty, made-in-china plate in the process. I own plates like that. They break if you look at them mean and threaten to etch an acorn into them.

We then resume the breaking of random shit, like a computer montior that happens to be sitting on her floor (maybe she thought it was a lavalamp when she bought it), an end table (while trying to hit the bottle on top of it), and the only door to the place, which has "THIS IS MY HOUSE" sprayed on it, apparently incase she or the band happen to forget where they live. I'm sure if you looked at these things symbolically, you could get some form of intelligent, deep meaning, but that's for fucking hippies and people who actually give a shit.

Now, cut to the scene that bothers me the most.

See, the song is called "Stingwray", and is about the lead singer's wife's Corvette Stingray (her last name is Wray). In the next bit, our hero and his psycho destructive woman are getting busy while driving what appears to be NOT A FUCKING STINGRAY. Besides the annoying fact that psycho woman appears to give incredibly dull handjobs (she definately lost my affections at this point), that just strikes me as incredibly,incredibly stupid. All this video critisim aside, I know for a fact that the singer OWNS a Stingray, and I can see no reason at all why he'd use a Z28 for the video instead.

The next few parts are the bass player trying to knock the house down by kicking it (which might work), and the singer driving around looking as stoned as John Travolta in Pulp Fiction while his girlfriend throws herself at him. At two minutes and fifty seconds in, the band finally gives up any semblance of trying to play their instruments and begin a variety of fistpumps instead.

At 3:13, BlackMetal Nordic Bassman decides to play hide and seek, and about that time, Psycho Woman begins pummeling the shit out of the discoballs. Combined with the lame handjob and the singer's need to fuck his Flying V guitar at the start, my settled opinion is that this whole video is just a metaphor for blue balls. Infact, the next minute has nothing in it besides ball stomping, smashing, and in the case of the band, sucking. The video ends with the singer looking like he just came hardcore in his pants.

Well, I'm bored of this now. I was just about to get to the punchline, but frankly, I'm suprised anyone bothered to read all that shit anyway, so I'll save it until next time.

It's harder now to even fake a smile, disillusion, I'm in denial. There's something missing cause I can't feel a thing, I'm de-sen-si-tized.

I just realized the title of this blog could be misread as "Barf lies at the beach". I'm debating making a permanent change, it seems a little more... I dunno.

The next thing I'm gonna post will be from a "guest contributer". Yay.

Your porn just makes me concerned.

"Max Surrender" makes some of the weirdest porn I've ever heard about or seen. A certain Mexican was telling me aobut it today, so out of intense boredom, I actually checked it out.

I only watched two clips, but here's a quick review of how it seems to work:

Two chicks get into a wrestling ring.
They make very little pretense about they're wrestling skills, and pretty much just pull at eachothers clothes for a few minutes.
Then, they start to hook up in a weird combination of violent movements and leg holds.
The video goes on like that, till one of them gives up (apparently for being "submissively horny"). The other one then gets to fuck her vigorously with a strap on.

Not really my cup of tea, but to be honest, what really put me off it was towards the end of the video. "Vigorous" might be a gentle word for the strap on part, but I knew it was too much for me when the one girl grabbed the other BY THE NOSTRILS while doing her from behind, and lifted her off the ground.

Believe me, I was impressed since I doubt I could pick someone up by thier nose, but much more scared than any sort of aroused. It's weird what people find sexy.




This is the type of post that happens when I get tired enough for the Incan monkey gods to tell me what to write. I should sleep, pronto.


Miss Piggy just does it for some people, I guess.

The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words. George Orwell made this clear in his novel 1984. But another way to control the minds of people is to control their perceptions. If you can get them to see the world as you do, they will think as you do. Comprehension follows perception. How do you get them to see the reality you see? After all, it is only one reality out of many. Images are a basic constituent: pictures. This is why the power of TV to influence young minds is so staggeringly vast. Words and pictures are synchronized. The possibility of total control of the viewer exists, especially the young viewer. TV viewing is a kind of sleep-learning. An EEG of a person watching TV shows that after about half an hour the brain decides that nothing is happening, and it goes into a hypnoidal twilight state, emitting alpha waves. This is because there is such little eye motion. In addition, much of the information is graphic and therefore passes into the right hemisphere of the brain, rather than being processed by the left, where the conscious personality is located. Recent experiments indicate that much of what we see on the TV screen is received on a subliminal basis. We only imagine that we consciously see what is there. The bulk of the messages elude our attention; literally, after a few hours of TV watching, we do not know what we have seen. Our memories are spurious, like our memories of dreams; the blank are filled in retrospectively. And falsified. We have participated unknowingly in the creation of a spurious reality, and then we have obligingly fed it to ourselves. We have colluded in our own doom.


I'll finish up here later, I have to go make spaghetti.

I guess all I have to say today is that I'm suprised you can fit more than one person into that little tub*.


*Trust me, dear readers, it's not as dirty as it sounds**.






**Thinking about it, I guess I only have one reader I know about and they're pretty aware of that, hah.




Also: Katie, who the fuck are you, and why are you in my exes group on MSN?

It feels like there's something missing today. hm.

I got an ingrown hair on my neck from shaving. THis has never happened before, but it sucks.

Yup, I got nothing.

Maybe I'm horribly arrogant.

Which movie?

1:19amSophie
legion
im feeling religious

1:19amPhillip
Never seen

1:19amSophie
tis right new

1:19amPhillip
Legion the demon?
Like, the one Jesus chases into the pigs?
Man, that sounds fucking stupid. How do people go for that?
I can see why audiobooks of the bible don't sell. It all sounds fucking moronic if you say it out loud in modren english

1:21amSophie
:P
i feel like you
emily is trying to say sorry
and im being such a dick
its like when id try and say sorry to you for fucking up
and youdall eh whatever dont care
oh lol

1:21amPhillip
It's kinda different from my perspective, hah
Are you planning to just forget about it or something?

1:22amSophie
what do you meean

1:23amPhillip
Well, if you actually do care, you should say something else to let her forgive you, so you guys can get past it.

1:23amSophie
i care, or something, shes just overly immature and disrespectful
shes fucked up many times, said sorry, and ive just let her continue to be a wank

1:24amPhillip
Hah

1:24amSophie
i dont know i just dont really care about her shit anymore

1:24amPhillip
Ok, so the perspective might not be that different
Just keep in mind how you feel about that with you and me I guess. She's gonna feel the same way.

1:25amSophie
I doubt she feels towards me the way i feel towards you
but okay :P
SO! how goes the rum?


It's kinda funny now that I look at it. I think fundementally, I liked you cause you were bitchy to the right people and had a boyfriend.

Then, you fucked up a bunch, we stopped talking, you did the above mentioned bullshit over and over till I told you to go away, you moved, and we somehow started talking again. The fact that you're still trying to get with me now just kind of bothers me. It seems almost immature or something, I guess.

You changed a bunch, I changed a bunch, and it's interesting how differently we've turned out so far than I would have expected.

See, you're supposed to be the one trying to do the right thing and be nice. You're supposed to be off at school making your life better, etc. etc.

I'm supposed to be a bitter asshole over everything. I'm supposed to be an unrestrained douche to everyone. I'm supposed to be the one getting smashed and moaning about things I get myself into all the time.

I'm certainly, certainly not supposed to feel like I'm simply don't understand being an ass to everyone and am too nice to want to be around you anymore.

On the other hand, I do feel bad that all these things you say we've done that seem to matter are things I've totally forgotten, since they might have been more "every day" to me, or something.


In other news, I wish you could tattoo music onto yourself. Not like, the notation, or tab if you're self-taught, but actual music. Maybe an ink that converts the signal sent by your eyes into sound when they look at it or something. You could have those things that you think really define you made a visual part of you. It'd be an interesting way to learn about people, I guess, and would probably be expensive enough that flakes would, well, flake. I dunno, it'd be cool.

Besides, I have to end this shite on a high note.

"That? That's a shell, stupid. It's what your little sister is gonna come out of when I start dating her."

This is where the main blog title comes from. I'm horribly bored, haha.


says (6:26 PM):
Do you know what else is red?

Steven. says (6:27 PM):
My hair?
Your hair, in that picture on my screen?

says (6:28 PM):
Knew you would say that, haha. It does have something to do with you though, but not your hair, or my hair in that picture.

Steven. says (6:29 PM):
No idea, then

says (6:29 PM):
I think you should know. Dig deeeep into your mind. It'll come.
I don't want it to be easy and just tell you.

Steven. says (6:30 PM):
Much too tired and sickly for thinking. Haha

says (6:30 PM):
Hmm, fine. I'll give you a hint.
My neck ring any bells.

Steven. says (6:31 PM):
BAHAHA
Oops. Hah
Steven. says (6:32 PM):
I want to make a redneck joke, but I can't think of anything good.

Adventures In Soberiety, Part II

I definatel do alot more shit when I don't have any drugs around. Some things I've done in the last four days:

Gone to FSJ twice.
Met my real mom.
Drew up a bunch of pipes I think would be kinda cool to make, if I ever have all the right stuff.
Built a cool but impractical pipe out of a flashlight and a piece of spring.
Learned a couple songs on guitar. It was the last night I had weed and such, and was totally burning out when I picked up the guitar, so I don't actually really remember which songs.
Beat Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, just about 100% done.
Cleaned my guns.
Changed the truck's oil, spark plugs, and air filter.
Read American On Purpose, Theater Of The Mind, Inevitable Revolutions, two Dean Koontz books, and probably about 50 wiki articles yesterday. I can't remember all the titles I've read thus far.
Watched about a year's worth of "Get Smart" episodes with Dad.
Wrote a speech for Brianna about WW II, though I haven't given it to her since she obviously needs to learn that shit.
Wrote a (lame) story! At least it's writing again.

After looking at all this, I've decided pot is a heap of fun, but has the side effect of making you more or less absolutely worthless and lazy. Thusly, I've decided I'll be allowed to smoke it Thursdays and Fridays for as long as I want, but only on those two days. After a little bit of thinking, I decided I don't actually drink or smoke enough to be too worried about it, despite what everyone seems to figure. A year ago, the weed and the vodka would be in totally different places. Now, while I still really dig the taste of booze, I've developed some kind of huge aversion to being drunk.

I can only drink whole bottles, I hate cups, and when it comes to wine and the like, that's the only way of doing it.. You have to have it done within a little while of opening it, or it doesn't count as drinking. The dislike of drunkness starts right there, as the booze usually hasn't kicked in yet, but I still have to piss bad enough that I worry I'll crack the toilet. When the drunk hits, it's fun for the first 20 minutes or so, then I start to get annoyed because I'm still fucking drunk and telling some random asshole my whole life story.

Well, that's it for now.

Sober sober sober.

If you put two "e"s in by accident, it's "sobeer" and not fair.

I hate being broke. I suppose this is a sign that the time off is nearly up.

I just don't really see a point to, well, any of it. I do little but hang out with a select few people and work. A life based around that is more than busy enough, but Goddess am I bored. I live to work, I work to... buy shiney baubles? To me, living to work is the end of the line right now, and it makes it all seem not worth my time.

I suppose I work to keep myself in drugs and skanks. What a great motivating factor. But see? SEE? This is totally what I mean. I work, I get off, I hang out with some people and get fucked up. I work, I go home, I get fried in my room and read or watch movies or whatever.

Now that I have time off, I sit and get fried in my room, and can usually put away a bottle of wine before it's too far into the afternoon. It's a fundamentally sad, dull way to live.

Not living is really the only immediate solution I can see, but if you know me at all, you've probably heard me mention that I'm too wimpy for that. What if I get around to it, and it turns out being dead is just as dull as being alive? So yeah, not my type of thing unless I get to see some brochures or can work out a time-share deal or something.


Speaking of timeshares, as I've lost interest in doing anything outside the walls of my room, including going into town to restock the pharmacuticals, what money I do have in the bank is pretty safe, and I'm thinking of using it to go to Hawaii on my Nana's timeshare. They just got back and didn't use the whole month they get it for, so it might be fun. We'll see where the priorities are a little furthur into March.

Well, there's a bit of writing. More sober means more updates, I suppose.

I think Julie has a crush on my Dad.

I don't know whether to tease her about it, or try to hook them up.

What a trip that'd be.

I don't really have a want or anything good to write right now, but I've been too drunk to update recently, and figured I kinda have to.

I'm a little drunk right now, actually.

Thusly, all I have to write about is the theme from 2001: A Space Odessey.

You might have heard it, but you've probably never heard it all the way through. It's like seven minutes of build-up, leading to...

The theme from the king and I. Which is the next song on the CD, and a pile of bullshit, music-wise.

I'm dissapointed in both Stanley Kubrick and John Williams.

See, this is why I don't write while drinking.

So, I get that this is probably what should happen, and I get that there's a pretty big chance something happened to cause this that you might not want to own up to. All that's fine, I really did like being with you, but I'm not as dumb as I seem sometimes and did see this coming. I think I even remember saying something about it being alright, if not a good thing. You've simply proven why I shouldn't waste my time on these things, as everyone I date does.

I just don't think it's fair that you just get to cut me out completely without me getting to say anything, because what I have to say is this:

If you're going to go back with him now, I'm telling him everything. If you don't, then I guess we can just forget about it and that's fine. I hope you get that this isn't a spiteful thing, for the most part. I just think everyone should take a lesson away from a relationship, and while you might be pretty smart to break this up, you're awfully stupid when it comes to that kid. If you don't want me, right-o and good luck to ya, but for Christ's sake, please don't put yourself through that bullshit again. Hell, even if you had a momentary lapse of judgement, it doesn't mean you have to continue on with it. Go find some dude with a wicked mohawk or something. At least someone who'll put a little more effort into it.

I guess that's all I have to say. You obviously don't want to be friends still, since you blocked me on Facebook again, so I guess I'll see you around.



It's kinda funny, but I totally knew this would take care of itself. Before anyone wonders why I'm not tearing up or anything, yes, I did like this girl, but I've learned from experience that all women are more or less completely interchangable (come on, you know it's true as well as I do) and the only thing I'm especially losing here is a very nice body.

And maybe a jacket, if she doesn't give that shit back. Maybe she'll be nice enough to sew the button back on for me.

Bleh, so much for anything resembling a sleeping pattern. Why the hell have I been so dead lately?

I think last week's tired was the fault of having somene to sleep with. I do like it, but it sucks to wake up every hour or so because you're holding someone who's more than likely a little crazy and has fucked up, noisey dreams. I've never really debated giving a girl roofies just so I could get a little rest (well, that's not totally true. I've totally considered giving them to some of the more annoying things I've dated, but they're sort of worthless and not really people anyway), but it's sort of tempting. They cause dreamless sleep and I bet someone around here has some. Maybe I'll run it by her. XD

Could be something else, but I've been getting heaps of sleep lately.

I don't really have much to write about, once again. My head just feels really... clouded? and I figure some writing will help out.

Oo, something new to complain about. You, talking to me on MSN right now. Yes you, no names, you know who you are.

If your biggest problem is seriously your inability to find anything to drink, and you're that broken up about it, maybe you should just go kill yourself. I'm not really even kidding. You're a shit friend, and I don't really care about anything wrong in your life, and if you've got a drinking problem to top that off, then I don't see why you can't just figure out that I want nothing to do with you. Besides that, hitting on me now, after all these years, is not something I see as tempting. It's selfish, because you really did get your shot and were a total dick about it all, and it's pathetic, and not in the same, somewhat nice way my girl falling in love with me for no reason is. I'll still be nice, because it's the polite thing to do, but you DO know this is how I feel about it.

Now you should stop talking to me. I want to go out and have a smoke.

Hm, what else? This post took three hours to write.

It's been less than a week and you're already in love with me, which is going to result in some kind of horrifying mess.

Besides, it makes me feel bad for you. I'll most likely eventually come off as a player, which isn't at all the way I'd like things to head. You're a nice girl, but I just don't know if I want anything THAT stupidly serious right now.

The thing I don't get is what you're into with this. I'm not even exceptionally nice to you or anything, and I've made it pretty clear from the start that I probably won't get better.

Oh well. These things usually take care of themselves anyway.