Fuck your cat. Seriously. We live in a tiny little 6 room house without any internal door. A cat is a semi-domesticated carnivore, and completely useless for people like us. I honestly don't even find the little piece of shit cute anymore, and the fact that putting a .22 in his head would probably get us kicked out is the only reason he's still in this house. So figure it out. Find some way to keep him out of my fucking face for a little while, or I will erect my own "cat fence", which will most likely be hooked up to a wall outlet and could double as a border fence for some Somali refugee camp.

A dog is at least useful in that it guards the house, not to mention listens to what you tell it to do. These are the sort of things I want in a pet: Obedience, caring, and companionship, none of which should be a whole lot to ask for out of an at most semi-sentient animal who relies on me for it's survival. If I wanted to have a shitty, unsanitary animal pissing me off, breaking my shit, ignoring me except to attack me, and going through my stuff, I would have had a kid.

As is, if you don't sort your cat out, I'm going to start making friends with just-off-the-boat Chinese people.