31.1.11

They're justified, and they're ancient, and they drive an Ice Cream van.

I have been listening to wayyy too much british techno lately.

YOu fool! you say, Any British techno is too much British Techno!

well, I say, you suck hairy cocks, so blah.



I've concluded that no matter what the fuck you do on the east coast, no one will ever question you if you do it loudly and seem like you might say something mean to them. Infact, they will be irresistably drawn to your offbeat wit, and semi-deranged incoherencies.

I have so far:
Proclaimed to be the leader of a secrective cult. (It's not really a secret)
Pretended to be a slave. (Though for what I'm paid...)
Talked in nothing but a series of metaphors and quotes from old, obscure movies (But I kall it mah kaiser blade...) for literal days on end.
Finally told someone an Lana story. ("Why did you leave so quick?")
Finally told someone the buttsecks story. (There is such thing as too much lube.)
Repeatedly showed up outside the Catholic priest's house smashed and called him a "Celestial flunky" (no, I don't know what that means either).
Given people around me nicknames like "Self-propelled rolling machine", "Fallback slutty girl", etc.
Made a series of phone calls consisting of "KLF IS GONNA ROCK YOU!".
And pretended to be a part-time hitman. (Which at least one of the bugs seems to honestly believe, despite the fact that I always put on a fucking ridiculous italian accent and call myself Tony while telling people about it).

All of this has been met with nothing more than a suprised look, then total acceptance. It's horribly funny and definately amusing, and more than a little puzzling.

I would probably cross the street if I saw myself coming right now, but these bastards love it. The east coast must have been really dull before I got here, because it seems like I've met a group of people who find me more interesting and entertaining than I ever have.

Well, that's it. Here's your music video.



1 comment:

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