They're justified, and they're ancient, and they drive an Ice Cream van.

I have been listening to wayyy too much british techno lately.

YOu fool! you say, Any British techno is too much British Techno!

well, I say, you suck hairy cocks, so blah.



I've concluded that no matter what the fuck you do on the east coast, no one will ever question you if you do it loudly and seem like you might say something mean to them. Infact, they will be irresistably drawn to your offbeat wit, and semi-deranged incoherencies.

I have so far:
Proclaimed to be the leader of a secrective cult. (It's not really a secret)
Pretended to be a slave. (Though for what I'm paid...)
Talked in nothing but a series of metaphors and quotes from old, obscure movies (But I kall it mah kaiser blade...) for literal days on end.
Finally told someone an Lana story. ("Why did you leave so quick?")
Finally told someone the buttsecks story. (There is such thing as too much lube.)
Repeatedly showed up outside the Catholic priest's house smashed and called him a "Celestial flunky" (no, I don't know what that means either).
Given people around me nicknames like "Self-propelled rolling machine", "Fallback slutty girl", etc.
Made a series of phone calls consisting of "KLF IS GONNA ROCK YOU!".
And pretended to be a part-time hitman. (Which at least one of the bugs seems to honestly believe, despite the fact that I always put on a fucking ridiculous italian accent and call myself Tony while telling people about it).

All of this has been met with nothing more than a suprised look, then total acceptance. It's horribly funny and definately amusing, and more than a little puzzling.

I would probably cross the street if I saw myself coming right now, but these bastards love it. The east coast must have been really dull before I got here, because it seems like I've met a group of people who find me more interesting and entertaining than I ever have.

Well, that's it. Here's your music video.

Chik-chika-chik-kah

I don't have anything at all to write. No one really even reads this, except maybe two or three people, and I don't really have alot to say that any of them would find interesting.

I went all day yesterday at work without saying anything more than "FUCKING FAGGOT!" and "ARE YOU EYBALLIN' ME, NEW FISH?". I said both like a black guy, over and over. I am going to miss working there because it is the only place I've ever been that encourages you to be a complete asshole. We talk about stuffing Kayla (the Jewish one) into the ovens (it's a German bakery), talk about "nigger noise", and generally act insanely offensively. I'm thinking of getting "Arbeit Macht Frei" tattooed on my upper arm, because life has more or less shown me that as long as you work hard, you're generally free to be as horrible as you want and still be loved by everyone around you.

I guess it coud just be that I'm the "coolest kid at the bakery", which is why I'm so well liked despite my best efforts, but since that's pretty compareable to being the "smartest kid with down syndrome", I kind of hope not. It is actually kind of possible though. People here are sort of weak and kind of pathetic, and no one I've met here could probably make it back home. All you really need to do to be everyone's favorite person is to be a little outgoing, an asshole in a funny way, and to be able to pick up on a few vibes here and there.

I reached a realization that nearly everyone I've ever been genuinely atrracted to (i.e. would probably go out of my way to sleep with) looks ALOT like Lisa. Not identical, but close enough that you could see it too.

Then I realized Lisa looks ALOT like someone I knew years and years and years ago. Like, a bustier younger sister type of similarity. Infact she looks more like the busty young sister to this girl than her own busty young sister looks like her.

Well. I suddenly don't care about this blogging buisness. Here's some shiny shit to entertain your simple little brain.