Another post!

Well, I'm nowfucking smashed. White wine, you decive me. Unlike your red cousin, I don't get sick after too many bottles of you. Unfortunately, I do get drunk off my ass without really realizing it. I mean, it's wine. It's not supposed to get you drunk.

Fuck, I really need something to believe in. Since I'm really hammed, we'll be very open in this post.

I've got no direction at all. I'm 20 years old, and by this point, all I can think is "Well, what next?". I mean, I've done absolutely nothing thus far in my life. I haven't changed much of anything for anyone, and I guess I just don't see a point beyond this. So, you get older, you finish school, you do.... what? Work at a shitty dead end job for the rest of your life?

I dunno. I'm clever enough to get what I want from life, I know this, and lots of stupid sheep tell me the same, but I just don't get what I'm supposed to be after. I mean yeah, there's post-secondary, there's growing old, there's all that shit. But is it all like this? Seriously?

It's days like this I sympathize with the suicides. I just don't get it, I guess. I don't get people at all, you can all be so shitty to eachother, you can go through your whole life without even thinking about it, etc. etc. etc. I'm too drunk to explain properly I guess. I just don't get it, and that's brutally depressing. Oh well. Lindsay's coming over soon to take me to the bank, and that'll hopefully take my mind off all this shite.


People keep on saying that I'm going somewhere, tried to buy a map to show me how to get there, now. But they said they'd run out.