This is going to be a big complaint, so I'm putting this warning up top here. It's probably good that you and I establish some ground rules for this place anyway. Case in point, I'm not a nice person, I don't say nice things about most people, and I'm fully capable of being deliciously cold and unkind. That said, this is MY blog, and I don't want a bunch of slutty little girls whining on it about something I'm say. If I say "I think you (specifically) are an asshole with dead, dry hair", then that's my problem and not yours, isn't it? If you really want to do something about it, maybe don't go running off to Suzie Q. Cocksucker and say "LOOK WHAT HE SAID ABOUT MY HAIR! ON THIS INTERNET THING!", because that only means more people will know I think you're an asshole with bad hair, and it's really pretty stupid to tell everybody to come find that out (unless you think so to, I guess). Equally, if I say something like "Suzie Q. Cocksucker is a jerk" or something like that, and you happen to know someone so unfortunately named, then I hope you can at least see why running off to tell her I think she's a jerk won't do anything but cause drama. It's just my opinion, if it's not something you like, then why the fuck are you on my blog? Besides, there's really no reason to get mad about something like that unless it's the truth and I've accidentally informed the world, in which case you should be like me and be willing to admit you're an asshole. If it's not the truth or you really don't believe it is, then just say "Eh, Steve is kinda stupid and doesn't know what he talking about". Don't come whining to me about it, do something constructive like starting your own blog dedicated to bashing me or learning how to properly hang yourself. Not only would the prior stroke my ego, but good insults are hard to come by and I'd probably respect you more if you were ever capable of offending me. THe latter works just as well. We're running out of parking spaces in town, and it's hard to get good tables in Mike's anymore.

Anyway, glad we got that settled. I can tell this is going to be long already, so I promise never to write this much shit again. At least not this much shit that's really only of personal interest.

BUT ANYWAY...

I hate it when my "old friends" want to hang out, the ones I used to be just great buddies with but haven't talked to in a year or two. Yeah, I realize there's been years of friendship and all that shit, but don't you think maybe there's a reason why we stopped talking?

For the most part, I don't really think highly of most of the people I know. Don't get me wrong, I know there are good people out there, and plenty of them, but I believe like attracts like, and I don't consider myself an incredibly great person, so thusly most of the people I hang out with are pure shit. I don't think most of them would disagree, but for some reason alot of them can't see a reason why I wouldn't want to be around them anymore.

So for those who just don't get it, here's a couple indicators:

If I say "See you around" at any point, then this means I really will see you around, because I don't plan to make any effort to see you regularly. This is my attempt at politely telling someone to fuck off. I'll be more obvious if I have to, but it's alot nicer when I don't have to say things like "Well, the truth is, you're kind of a useless cocksucker who really only makes more issues in my usually nice, smoothly running world, and you're more or less dead to me".

If you blow me off more than a couple times without bothering to tell me in advance. I don't care if you have a reason or if you just don't want to hang out, it's perfectly fine so long as someone lets me know, but I've got lots of things to do and not lots of time to do them, so it bothers me when it's wasted on some skeeze.

If you ask me for shit repeatedly, I don't care who you are, but I'm done wasting time with you. For one, learn to take care of your own fucking problems. I could usually care less about the little dramatic shit you have going on in your life, and I certainly don't owe you shit all besides that. Maybe I'm just "insecure" or some similar shitty psych-pop 90s word, but if every time I come over you ask for a ride, or if I wanna buy you food, drugs, etc, or if I can take you to another friend's house, then I'm soon going to start thinking that's the only reason you want me there. I look at most of the people I know, and this is all it is. I don't even think this was bothering to me before I nearly died a few times last year and Sam Gabriel was the only person to notice or give a shit about (something I still don't really get, since I don't think we were even really talking or anything, but she'd still manage to show up whenever I got really fucked and started throwing up). The more I look around, the more I believe people are disgusting leeches, and the less I want those people near me.

I guess the last big thing is making excuses for stupid shit, telling little lies, and generally just being a shit. Tye (not the one probably reading this, but the male one) talks shit about EVERYONE behind their back, and openly fucks his other friends over when they aren't around (come to think of it, both you fuckers do this, yes Tylar, I do hear all the things you've been saying about me, but anyway), then wonders why some people don't want to hang out with them. A used to be close friend of mine blew me off for two years, moved, then blamed it on "Having too strong of feelings" for me, so that we could still be friends at her convenience when she comes back. If you're really so weak that you can't be around someone you presumably used to call a best friend without needing to jump their bones, or really so self-concerned to think that's a really decent reason, then I probably don't want to be around you. If you act all "Well gee, I'll make some time for you when I'm around next, you're welcome" about it, then I really don't care if you are around period.

Anyway, I don't really know what the point of this is. I guess lots of people have been asking me to hang out lately, and I felt like I need to explain somewhat why most of my time around lots of you has been nothing but awkward silences. So yeah, there's the secrect. It's because for the most part, I have no interest in you, and nothing at all to say.