The last couple posts have all been very preemptive.

I'm not sure why I have this anymore, truly. I guess because I'm just not used to not.

I probably could have helped you. I won't say saved, but maybe, just for this one moment, it might not be that far off.

But you're not one who can help me, and I don't think you really want to.

That's ok. I don't really want it anymore. I'm better this way anyway.

So, apparently that was a second to last post. Here's why:

Tonight everything worked out for me. See, there's this woman. And she is incredible, and always has been.

And I now know she's in to me.

And I'm so sure I will fuck it up and wreck things and lose her forever and all the usual.

But here's the deal.

After I found out she was in to me, all those thoughts flashed through my head. And then I thought "well shit, I can't even talk about this to the person I would usually tell it to, because that's her".

But then I realized I didn't. That's a big part of why I want this, and that's a big part of why it's incredible.

Nothing's changed, we just have a much better chance of sharing the same bed now.

Being into your best friend. Now that's amazing.

This one is about you, if you somehow couldn't have guessed.