Endeavor to write, I endeavor to rhyme, endeavor to rap, my words are on time. I lay it down lyrically, I don't know if you hearing me, avert your gaze, I'm talking empiracally. Cause music holds power, and knowledge untold, so move with the mic and let my wisdom unfold. Sing for the moment, dance for the day, open your mind or get out of the way. I like my rhymes lyrical, affecting you in spiritual ways, striking where the problem lays, striking in your mind, a wisdom divined from the feeling inside that history has lied. So if I can make you think, for just one second, open up your mind and look in the direction that we're heading in, going down hill faster than we've eer been, then maybe that's something... bigger than I will ever be, you will ever see reflected shapes of our one true reality, so close your eyes, spark a joint and take a trip with me, moving through the sound at increasing velocity.

Then I kinda lose my train of thought, and continue with:

I'm not a rapper, so don't throw a "yo" at me, I sound like a white guy reciting his poetry, breaking it down one line at a time, trying to keep it real, trying to keep up with my mind. Upper white class is what it says on my lable, but I still hold all the cards at this table, and so I broke it down as best as was able, and that is the end of this little fable.


No sleep is FUN.

Good enough night. T, S, Dbel and I in the tower. Nothing too interesting happened. The topic of the day was mostly beyond me as I haven't slept for more than an hour or two for the last few days.

I've decided that my insomnia is due to a lack of weed. Usually I'm nice and sleepy by around three or so bowls. Oh well. Maybe tomorrow.

Today was fucking awesome. Me, Tomahawk, and T in the tower. For some reason they agreed with my request to listen to the 40s station, so we got to chill to the unbeatable sounds of that decade, then for the second half of the night, T put on the "I'm a stoned hippy channel". Besides that, the night was busy enough to be fun, but slow enough to be hilarious.

We sang one of the SAs happybirthday, then made it a mission to make everyone else do it to her to.

The main topic was fisting, specifically I'M GONNA FIST YOUR ASS regularly being used as a threat by a problem person when I was a security guard. We of course discussed "FINE, I'LL JUST SHIT IN THE BED THEN" and "MAYBE I SHOULD JUST SELL MY MOTORCYCLE THEN!", amongst other lame threats.

Unicorns were indeed present tonight, and they weren't even chained to the walls.

After work, I had to walk home, which was pretty alright with me, since it was a really nice night tonight. About halfway here, Ay (my smoking break buddy) pulled up beside me, and gave me a lift. We had a really good conversation about the evils of technology, good and bad rap, and various other things I don't usually get the chance to talk about.

Honestly, life could suck ass right now, and IT DOES in some way I'm really barely aware of at the moment (I.E. I know there's something kinda fucked right now, I just can't be bothered to remember. Probably a Julie thing.), but I don't really care.

Tomahawk spend the last hour of the day or so teaching me how to play Texas Hold'em. I used this knowledge to completely clean house on FaceBook TXS when I got home, up until I met some hindu wanker who continued to go "all in" EVERY SINGLE ROUND, until he got enough capital built up, had gotten me annoyed enough to stop folding, and had managed to actually get a decent hand. This is of course when I matched his all in, somewhere around two grand, and promptly got pig fucked in the eyesocket with my own stupidity. There's a fun mental picture.

Apparently I can't edit posts at the moment, only make new ones, so here's a new one!

I was just watching an episode of family guy, where Peter discover's he's black. Lois' Dad turns out to own a slave, whom he calls "some guy we fed and took care of in exchange for a few chores".

While this is ofcourse an animated and unrealisitc lampoon of reality, those who've heard my "Why slavery is good" speech should take note that someone from family guy is actually in line with my view point for once.

Tonight was the balls.

First, it was me, T, and S in the tower. We basically sat around all night and made jokes about the event in the show lounge, and about how one of the employees works for an escort service on the side (I am unable to find her site or I'd post a link here. You can't actually see her face, so it's all confidential still, right?).

*For those who are unaware, an escort is essentially a hooker, though technically you're paying to take her out to dinner or something, and the sex just "happens" to happen because the girl "likes you" or something similar. I personally see nothing really derogatory about just calling them hookers - there's lots of sluts out there, and a hooker is really just someone who was smart enough to see the monetary value in being one.*

About a quarter of the jokes were at her expense. The rest were at the expense of the particular staff members who happened to notice she was also an escort.

Besides that, we had all manner of drunk people, I got pulled over by the coolest cops ever (actually fun), and just in general had a pretty entertaining night.


In clarification, I don't care if you're wanting to read this, Lisa. I can say whatever unpleasant things I want to about you on here, and you can't complain because this is my personal blog, and I hadn't even told you it existed until you came across it. To be frank, you were simply not invited.

I can complain about all the unpleasant things you say about me to your friends because you always leave those messages open, non-minimized, so that it's the first thing I see when I turn on the computer.

Do you see the difference here? I'm writing my thoughts down basically to myself, you're jamming yours in my face, intentionally or not.

I spend most of my day looking at cameras, some of which are poorly wired, others of which are outside.

No matter what, when you zoom them in, they usually have higher definition than my T.V. currently does on the non-HD channels. TV has never really been as fuzzy as it seems to be latel.

Either my DVR is getting fullish, or the TV companies intentionally downgrade the picture quality on regular channels to encourage you to get their HD packages.

Haha.So what's up?.

10:20am NOt alot SHowing off my computer speakers to the neibours.

10:21am Hahaha. Do you live in an apartment?.

10:21am Yup.

10:21amWhat yah listening to?.

10:21am I'm listening to megadeth. Anyone who can hear my speakers has been listening to Soulja boy for the last three hours..



I wonder if "I didn't do my taxes because the booklet is making such a good mousepad." is a valid excuse.

I wonder if "I listed ten illegal mexicans and an old jewish couple in hiding as living with us because you gave me just enough space to do so in the census form" works too.

Lisa didn't take the hint when I said "Maybe you just shouldn't read my blog then." in regards to her being bothered by things on here.

To be quite honest babe, I only really write this thing to rant to myself and keep in touch with Lindsay, both of which are harder to do with you constantly present. I'm not complaining, just stating I can't wander the appartment mumbling to myself when you're around, and you definately made our last hangout a tad off.

So, for the benifit of Lisa, I shall no longer writing fun, somewhat deep things here.

I shall instead write fun, somewhat half true things.

The new guy is also from Dawson. He's friends with all my childhood friends, does most of the same stuff I did around there, and yet is someone I've never even heard about, let alone seen.

Seems like a nice guy, but it's kind of weird to meet the best friend of your elementary school best friend, and have no idea who the fuck he is.

I saw the second best* drunken biking wipeout ever today. Details are unfortunately work-related, and thus confidential, but basically this really, really, really smashed old junkie spent the better part of an hour getting aquainted with the ground after trying to pedal on a nice, flat piece of pavement.

Today was a pretty good day in general.




*The first best was Tye, on Alex's bike. We were either super stoned or wasted or something, and had decided we wanted to go biking. I only had one bike around, so we went and stole (well, really only borrowed) two from Alex's place (I think it was Alex, at least). Tye of course made Cal take the shitty bike, while he took the newer one, and we took off down the hill.

In case you didn't know, biking while drunk is fun, but makes you REALLY thirsy. So we decided to go to the shell store to grab some water. We made it through the SPSS lot, and into the church parking lot behind it. THe only thing in our way was the massive fucking speedbump at the lot's exit. I slipped around it in the narrow gap on the side, and when I looked back, Tye was right behind me.

Suddenly, as I'm looking forward, he flies off his bike, and we literally maintain eye contact as I bring my view frontward. I stop, he lands a little ways ahead of me, luckily for him on the grass. Cal stops without trying to get around the bump, which was probably a good idea as he had enough trouble walking most of the time, even when sober (well, MORE sober). I kinda stop and look around, trying not to laugh too loud. Tye's getting up, and Cal's picking up Alex's bike.

I still don't really know what exactly happened. Somehow Tye had missed the gap, and his wheel hadn't been able to get over the bump. It twisted right around, pulling out the brake cables, and making it so the front wheel ran perpendicular to the handlebars. Tye was ok, and we managed to get the wheel bent straight, but the brakes were fucked. Being a bunch of drunken bums, we snuck the bike back, and I've probably never told her about any of this. The brakes probably came up later. I think she got her money back from the guy she'd bought it from, and got to keep the bike, or one of those other crazy lucky things that seem to happen to her to balance out the shitty things in her life.

I'm watching the Office. They're burying this dead bird, and the one guy is talking about how he buried a fish or something when he was five, and thought it was immature and stupid then.

We buried a muffin in my tenth grade art class. Neat when life is stupider than TV.

I smoke too much weed. This makes me apathetic to everything around me, which is sometimes better than my other usual state of mind, annoyed at everything around me. It keeps me so immersed in thought and interested in learning everything about nothing that I forget to eat. And I enjoy this enough that it probably contributes to any depression when I want some and can't get it.

In other news, I REALLY like my PVR.

I just watched an epsiode of family guy. It was about 15 minutes long without the commercials. The lack of commercials probably helped me realize that out of these 15 minutes, maybe six of them were actual dialog, and the other nine were essentially the same clip of peter singing "Surfin' Bird". It's kinda stupid how entertaining it was for what it is.

Blahhah.

I don't know. I think I'm gonna go smoke another bowl and veg out.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm probably going to end up killing myself within the next five years. This shouldn't be overly suprising.

I'm not designed for this particular time period or area of the world. I have no deep family connections, I have no close friends, or really any friends outside of my aquaintances at work, and I own no property or anything that really holds me down.

I believe I've already achieved the potential that I'm capable of achieving, quite a while ago, and I just don't really enjoy being alive enough to want to keep doing it.

So yeah. I'm willing to bet I will get bored, annoyed, or depressed enough in about five years or so.

Isn't it funny how suicidal impulses come in the form of intense boredom? I mean, don't get me wrong, there's not nessicarily anything wrong with my life. I just don't enjoy it.

And really, like you can pretend it doesn't feel like there should be something a little more significant going on that what we're doing around here. I mean really. I sit in a little room with a bunch of furless monkeys, our sole reason for existing being to operate cameras in order to let another bunch of furless monkeys come in and give us their money. Your sole reason for existing might be a little better, maybe your a doctor, and you spend all your time fixing up monekys so that we can go out and do stupid things and get hurt again.

I just think we're lacking in something, that's all.

Blah, I always knew I should have dropped out and started a cult.

I think I would have been better off about a hundred years ago. BUt not I must shower and go work, so perhaps I'll write that some other time.

Updating just because I have the internet again.

I am grumpy and tired. I want liquor and cigarettes.

I've kinda felt like I've lost touch with everyone I used to know. It seems like it should be a bigger deal, but I kinda think it started a long time ago, and the moving just made it more evident. NOw that there's a little more time to stand back and look at things, it's interesting to consider how differently life could have turned out.

Work's been good. Not much going on there right now. It worries me a tad being around all the electronics, haha.

I wonder if the electormagnetic field from a wireless laptop constantly being used on a lap can cause impotence. I mean, it's suprising enough as it is that they caught the cell phone radiation thing. You'd think if it was penis related, our society's scientists would be all over that shit.

I'm really digging the new PVR thing. I can record a day's worth of shitty TV on my days working, and have background sound for the whole next weekend off. The movies on demand thing is pretty cool too.

I think I might get off my ass and go get my smokes. I have laundry to do too, oh yay.