I guess all I have to say today is that I'm suprised you can fit more than one person into that little tub*.
*Trust me, dear readers, it's not as dirty as it sounds**.
**Thinking about it, I guess I only have one reader I know about and they're pretty aware of that, hah.
Also: Katie, who the fuck are you, and why are you in my exes group on MSN?
28.2.10
27.2.10
Maybe I'm horribly arrogant.
Which movie?
1:19amSophie
legion
im feeling religious
1:19amPhillip
Never seen
1:19amSophie
tis right new
1:19amPhillip
Legion the demon?
Like, the one Jesus chases into the pigs?
Man, that sounds fucking stupid. How do people go for that?
I can see why audiobooks of the bible don't sell. It all sounds fucking moronic if you say it out loud in modren english
1:21amSophie
:P
i feel like you
emily is trying to say sorry
and im being such a dick
its like when id try and say sorry to you for fucking up
and youdall eh whatever dont care
oh lol
1:21amPhillip
It's kinda different from my perspective, hah
Are you planning to just forget about it or something?
1:22amSophie
what do you meean
1:23amPhillip
Well, if you actually do care, you should say something else to let her forgive you, so you guys can get past it.
1:23amSophie
i care, or something, shes just overly immature and disrespectful
shes fucked up many times, said sorry, and ive just let her continue to be a wank
1:24amPhillip
Hah
1:24amSophie
i dont know i just dont really care about her shit anymore
1:24amPhillip
Ok, so the perspective might not be that different
Just keep in mind how you feel about that with you and me I guess. She's gonna feel the same way.
1:25amSophie
I doubt she feels towards me the way i feel towards you
but okay :P
SO! how goes the rum?
It's kinda funny now that I look at it. I think fundementally, I liked you cause you were bitchy to the right people and had a boyfriend.
Then, you fucked up a bunch, we stopped talking, you did the above mentioned bullshit over and over till I told you to go away, you moved, and we somehow started talking again. The fact that you're still trying to get with me now just kind of bothers me. It seems almost immature or something, I guess.
You changed a bunch, I changed a bunch, and it's interesting how differently we've turned out so far than I would have expected.
See, you're supposed to be the one trying to do the right thing and be nice. You're supposed to be off at school making your life better, etc. etc.
I'm supposed to be a bitter asshole over everything. I'm supposed to be an unrestrained douche to everyone. I'm supposed to be the one getting smashed and moaning about things I get myself into all the time.
I'm certainly, certainly not supposed to feel like I'm simply don't understand being an ass to everyone and am too nice to want to be around you anymore.
On the other hand, I do feel bad that all these things you say we've done that seem to matter are things I've totally forgotten, since they might have been more "every day" to me, or something.
In other news, I wish you could tattoo music onto yourself. Not like, the notation, or tab if you're self-taught, but actual music. Maybe an ink that converts the signal sent by your eyes into sound when they look at it or something. You could have those things that you think really define you made a visual part of you. It'd be an interesting way to learn about people, I guess, and would probably be expensive enough that flakes would, well, flake. I dunno, it'd be cool.
Besides, I have to end this shite on a high note.
1:19amSophie
legion
im feeling religious
1:19amPhillip
Never seen
1:19amSophie
tis right new
1:19amPhillip
Legion the demon?
Like, the one Jesus chases into the pigs?
Man, that sounds fucking stupid. How do people go for that?
I can see why audiobooks of the bible don't sell. It all sounds fucking moronic if you say it out loud in modren english
1:21amSophie
:P
i feel like you
emily is trying to say sorry
and im being such a dick
its like when id try and say sorry to you for fucking up
and youdall eh whatever dont care
oh lol
1:21amPhillip
It's kinda different from my perspective, hah
Are you planning to just forget about it or something?
1:22amSophie
what do you meean
1:23amPhillip
Well, if you actually do care, you should say something else to let her forgive you, so you guys can get past it.
1:23amSophie
i care, or something, shes just overly immature and disrespectful
shes fucked up many times, said sorry, and ive just let her continue to be a wank
1:24amPhillip
Hah
1:24amSophie
i dont know i just dont really care about her shit anymore
1:24amPhillip
Ok, so the perspective might not be that different
Just keep in mind how you feel about that with you and me I guess. She's gonna feel the same way.
1:25amSophie
I doubt she feels towards me the way i feel towards you
but okay :P
SO! how goes the rum?
It's kinda funny now that I look at it. I think fundementally, I liked you cause you were bitchy to the right people and had a boyfriend.
Then, you fucked up a bunch, we stopped talking, you did the above mentioned bullshit over and over till I told you to go away, you moved, and we somehow started talking again. The fact that you're still trying to get with me now just kind of bothers me. It seems almost immature or something, I guess.
You changed a bunch, I changed a bunch, and it's interesting how differently we've turned out so far than I would have expected.
See, you're supposed to be the one trying to do the right thing and be nice. You're supposed to be off at school making your life better, etc. etc.
I'm supposed to be a bitter asshole over everything. I'm supposed to be an unrestrained douche to everyone. I'm supposed to be the one getting smashed and moaning about things I get myself into all the time.
I'm certainly, certainly not supposed to feel like I'm simply don't understand being an ass to everyone and am too nice to want to be around you anymore.
On the other hand, I do feel bad that all these things you say we've done that seem to matter are things I've totally forgotten, since they might have been more "every day" to me, or something.
In other news, I wish you could tattoo music onto yourself. Not like, the notation, or tab if you're self-taught, but actual music. Maybe an ink that converts the signal sent by your eyes into sound when they look at it or something. You could have those things that you think really define you made a visual part of you. It'd be an interesting way to learn about people, I guess, and would probably be expensive enough that flakes would, well, flake. I dunno, it'd be cool.
Besides, I have to end this shite on a high note.
26.2.10
"That? That's a shell, stupid. It's what your little sister is gonna come out of when I start dating her."
This is where the main blog title comes from. I'm horribly bored, haha.
says (6:26 PM):
Do you know what else is red?
Steven. says (6:27 PM):
My hair?
Your hair, in that picture on my screen?
says (6:28 PM):
Knew you would say that, haha. It does have something to do with you though, but not your hair, or my hair in that picture.
Steven. says (6:29 PM):
No idea, then
says (6:29 PM):
I think you should know. Dig deeeep into your mind. It'll come.
I don't want it to be easy and just tell you.
Steven. says (6:30 PM):
Much too tired and sickly for thinking. Haha
says (6:30 PM):
Hmm, fine. I'll give you a hint.
My neck ring any bells.
Steven. says (6:31 PM):
BAHAHA
Oops. Hah
Steven. says (6:32 PM):
I want to make a redneck joke, but I can't think of anything good.
Adventures In Soberiety, Part II
I definatel do alot more shit when I don't have any drugs around. Some things I've done in the last four days:
Gone to FSJ twice.
Met my real mom.
Drew up a bunch of pipes I think would be kinda cool to make, if I ever have all the right stuff.
Built a cool but impractical pipe out of a flashlight and a piece of spring.
Learned a couple songs on guitar. It was the last night I had weed and such, and was totally burning out when I picked up the guitar, so I don't actually really remember which songs.
Beat Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, just about 100% done.
Cleaned my guns.
Changed the truck's oil, spark plugs, and air filter.
Read American On Purpose, Theater Of The Mind, Inevitable Revolutions, two Dean Koontz books, and probably about 50 wiki articles yesterday. I can't remember all the titles I've read thus far.
Watched about a year's worth of "Get Smart" episodes with Dad.
Wrote a speech for Brianna about WW II, though I haven't given it to her since she obviously needs to learn that shit.
Wrote a (lame) story! At least it's writing again.
After looking at all this, I've decided pot is a heap of fun, but has the side effect of making you more or less absolutely worthless and lazy. Thusly, I've decided I'll be allowed to smoke it Thursdays and Fridays for as long as I want, but only on those two days. After a little bit of thinking, I decided I don't actually drink or smoke enough to be too worried about it, despite what everyone seems to figure. A year ago, the weed and the vodka would be in totally different places. Now, while I still really dig the taste of booze, I've developed some kind of huge aversion to being drunk.
I can only drink whole bottles, I hate cups, and when it comes to wine and the like, that's the only way of doing it.. You have to have it done within a little while of opening it, or it doesn't count as drinking. The dislike of drunkness starts right there, as the booze usually hasn't kicked in yet, but I still have to piss bad enough that I worry I'll crack the toilet. When the drunk hits, it's fun for the first 20 minutes or so, then I start to get annoyed because I'm still fucking drunk and telling some random asshole my whole life story.
Well, that's it for now.
Gone to FSJ twice.
Met my real mom.
Drew up a bunch of pipes I think would be kinda cool to make, if I ever have all the right stuff.
Built a cool but impractical pipe out of a flashlight and a piece of spring.
Learned a couple songs on guitar. It was the last night I had weed and such, and was totally burning out when I picked up the guitar, so I don't actually really remember which songs.
Beat Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, just about 100% done.
Cleaned my guns.
Changed the truck's oil, spark plugs, and air filter.
Read American On Purpose, Theater Of The Mind, Inevitable Revolutions, two Dean Koontz books, and probably about 50 wiki articles yesterday. I can't remember all the titles I've read thus far.
Watched about a year's worth of "Get Smart" episodes with Dad.
Wrote a speech for Brianna about WW II, though I haven't given it to her since she obviously needs to learn that shit.
Wrote a (lame) story! At least it's writing again.
After looking at all this, I've decided pot is a heap of fun, but has the side effect of making you more or less absolutely worthless and lazy. Thusly, I've decided I'll be allowed to smoke it Thursdays and Fridays for as long as I want, but only on those two days. After a little bit of thinking, I decided I don't actually drink or smoke enough to be too worried about it, despite what everyone seems to figure. A year ago, the weed and the vodka would be in totally different places. Now, while I still really dig the taste of booze, I've developed some kind of huge aversion to being drunk.
I can only drink whole bottles, I hate cups, and when it comes to wine and the like, that's the only way of doing it.. You have to have it done within a little while of opening it, or it doesn't count as drinking. The dislike of drunkness starts right there, as the booze usually hasn't kicked in yet, but I still have to piss bad enough that I worry I'll crack the toilet. When the drunk hits, it's fun for the first 20 minutes or so, then I start to get annoyed because I'm still fucking drunk and telling some random asshole my whole life story.
Well, that's it for now.
24.2.10
Sober sober sober.
If you put two "e"s in by accident, it's "sobeer" and not fair.
I hate being broke. I suppose this is a sign that the time off is nearly up.
I just don't really see a point to, well, any of it. I do little but hang out with a select few people and work. A life based around that is more than busy enough, but Goddess am I bored. I live to work, I work to... buy shiney baubles? To me, living to work is the end of the line right now, and it makes it all seem not worth my time.
I suppose I work to keep myself in drugs and skanks. What a great motivating factor. But see? SEE? This is totally what I mean. I work, I get off, I hang out with some people and get fucked up. I work, I go home, I get fried in my room and read or watch movies or whatever.
Now that I have time off, I sit and get fried in my room, and can usually put away a bottle of wine before it's too far into the afternoon. It's a fundamentally sad, dull way to live.
Not living is really the only immediate solution I can see, but if you know me at all, you've probably heard me mention that I'm too wimpy for that. What if I get around to it, and it turns out being dead is just as dull as being alive? So yeah, not my type of thing unless I get to see some brochures or can work out a time-share deal or something.
Speaking of timeshares, as I've lost interest in doing anything outside the walls of my room, including going into town to restock the pharmacuticals, what money I do have in the bank is pretty safe, and I'm thinking of using it to go to Hawaii on my Nana's timeshare. They just got back and didn't use the whole month they get it for, so it might be fun. We'll see where the priorities are a little furthur into March.
Well, there's a bit of writing. More sober means more updates, I suppose.
23.2.10
14.2.10
I don't really have a want or anything good to write right now, but I've been too drunk to update recently, and figured I kinda have to.
I'm a little drunk right now, actually.
Thusly, all I have to write about is the theme from 2001: A Space Odessey.
You might have heard it, but you've probably never heard it all the way through. It's like seven minutes of build-up, leading to...
The theme from the king and I. Which is the next song on the CD, and a pile of bullshit, music-wise.
I'm dissapointed in both Stanley Kubrick and John Williams.
See, this is why I don't write while drinking.
I'm a little drunk right now, actually.
Thusly, all I have to write about is the theme from 2001: A Space Odessey.
You might have heard it, but you've probably never heard it all the way through. It's like seven minutes of build-up, leading to...
The theme from the king and I. Which is the next song on the CD, and a pile of bullshit, music-wise.
I'm dissapointed in both Stanley Kubrick and John Williams.
See, this is why I don't write while drinking.
9.2.10
So, I get that this is probably what should happen, and I get that there's a pretty big chance something happened to cause this that you might not want to own up to. All that's fine, I really did like being with you, but I'm not as dumb as I seem sometimes and did see this coming. I think I even remember saying something about it being alright, if not a good thing. You've simply proven why I shouldn't waste my time on these things, as everyone I date does.
I just don't think it's fair that you just get to cut me out completely without me getting to say anything, because what I have to say is this:
If you're going to go back with him now, I'm telling him everything. If you don't, then I guess we can just forget about it and that's fine. I hope you get that this isn't a spiteful thing, for the most part. I just think everyone should take a lesson away from a relationship, and while you might be pretty smart to break this up, you're awfully stupid when it comes to that kid. If you don't want me, right-o and good luck to ya, but for Christ's sake, please don't put yourself through that bullshit again. Hell, even if you had a momentary lapse of judgement, it doesn't mean you have to continue on with it. Go find some dude with a wicked mohawk or something. At least someone who'll put a little more effort into it.
I guess that's all I have to say. You obviously don't want to be friends still, since you blocked me on Facebook again, so I guess I'll see you around.
It's kinda funny, but I totally knew this would take care of itself. Before anyone wonders why I'm not tearing up or anything, yes, I did like this girl, but I've learned from experience that all women are more or less completely interchangable (come on, you know it's true as well as I do) and the only thing I'm especially losing here is a very nice body.
And maybe a jacket, if she doesn't give that shit back. Maybe she'll be nice enough to sew the button back on for me.
I just don't think it's fair that you just get to cut me out completely without me getting to say anything, because what I have to say is this:
If you're going to go back with him now, I'm telling him everything. If you don't, then I guess we can just forget about it and that's fine. I hope you get that this isn't a spiteful thing, for the most part. I just think everyone should take a lesson away from a relationship, and while you might be pretty smart to break this up, you're awfully stupid when it comes to that kid. If you don't want me, right-o and good luck to ya, but for Christ's sake, please don't put yourself through that bullshit again. Hell, even if you had a momentary lapse of judgement, it doesn't mean you have to continue on with it. Go find some dude with a wicked mohawk or something. At least someone who'll put a little more effort into it.
I guess that's all I have to say. You obviously don't want to be friends still, since you blocked me on Facebook again, so I guess I'll see you around.
It's kinda funny, but I totally knew this would take care of itself. Before anyone wonders why I'm not tearing up or anything, yes, I did like this girl, but I've learned from experience that all women are more or less completely interchangable (come on, you know it's true as well as I do) and the only thing I'm especially losing here is a very nice body.
And maybe a jacket, if she doesn't give that shit back. Maybe she'll be nice enough to sew the button back on for me.
Bleh, so much for anything resembling a sleeping pattern. Why the hell have I been so dead lately?
I think last week's tired was the fault of having somene to sleep with. I do like it, but it sucks to wake up every hour or so because you're holding someone who's more than likely a little crazy and has fucked up, noisey dreams. I've never really debated giving a girl roofies just so I could get a little rest (well, that's not totally true. I've totally considered giving them to some of the more annoying things I've dated, but they're sort of worthless and not really people anyway), but it's sort of tempting. They cause dreamless sleep and I bet someone around here has some. Maybe I'll run it by her. XD
Could be something else, but I've been getting heaps of sleep lately.
I don't really have much to write about, once again. My head just feels really... clouded? and I figure some writing will help out.
Oo, something new to complain about. You, talking to me on MSN right now. Yes you, no names, you know who you are.
If your biggest problem is seriously your inability to find anything to drink, and you're that broken up about it, maybe you should just go kill yourself. I'm not really even kidding. You're a shit friend, and I don't really care about anything wrong in your life, and if you've got a drinking problem to top that off, then I don't see why you can't just figure out that I want nothing to do with you. Besides that, hitting on me now, after all these years, is not something I see as tempting. It's selfish, because you really did get your shot and were a total dick about it all, and it's pathetic, and not in the same, somewhat nice way my girl falling in love with me for no reason is. I'll still be nice, because it's the polite thing to do, but you DO know this is how I feel about it.
Now you should stop talking to me. I want to go out and have a smoke.
Hm, what else? This post took three hours to write.
I think last week's tired was the fault of having somene to sleep with. I do like it, but it sucks to wake up every hour or so because you're holding someone who's more than likely a little crazy and has fucked up, noisey dreams. I've never really debated giving a girl roofies just so I could get a little rest (well, that's not totally true. I've totally considered giving them to some of the more annoying things I've dated, but they're sort of worthless and not really people anyway), but it's sort of tempting. They cause dreamless sleep and I bet someone around here has some. Maybe I'll run it by her. XD
Could be something else, but I've been getting heaps of sleep lately.
I don't really have much to write about, once again. My head just feels really... clouded? and I figure some writing will help out.
Oo, something new to complain about. You, talking to me on MSN right now. Yes you, no names, you know who you are.
If your biggest problem is seriously your inability to find anything to drink, and you're that broken up about it, maybe you should just go kill yourself. I'm not really even kidding. You're a shit friend, and I don't really care about anything wrong in your life, and if you've got a drinking problem to top that off, then I don't see why you can't just figure out that I want nothing to do with you. Besides that, hitting on me now, after all these years, is not something I see as tempting. It's selfish, because you really did get your shot and were a total dick about it all, and it's pathetic, and not in the same, somewhat nice way my girl falling in love with me for no reason is. I'll still be nice, because it's the polite thing to do, but you DO know this is how I feel about it.
Now you should stop talking to me. I want to go out and have a smoke.
Hm, what else? This post took three hours to write.
8.2.10
It's been less than a week and you're already in love with me, which is going to result in some kind of horrifying mess.
Besides, it makes me feel bad for you. I'll most likely eventually come off as a player, which isn't at all the way I'd like things to head. You're a nice girl, but I just don't know if I want anything THAT stupidly serious right now.
The thing I don't get is what you're into with this. I'm not even exceptionally nice to you or anything, and I've made it pretty clear from the start that I probably won't get better.
Oh well. These things usually take care of themselves anyway.
Besides, it makes me feel bad for you. I'll most likely eventually come off as a player, which isn't at all the way I'd like things to head. You're a nice girl, but I just don't know if I want anything THAT stupidly serious right now.
The thing I don't get is what you're into with this. I'm not even exceptionally nice to you or anything, and I've made it pretty clear from the start that I probably won't get better.
Oh well. These things usually take care of themselves anyway.
2.2.10
Lots of work means lots of money, so I'm pretty happy right now. This sort of lots means all sorts of fun things. Work in itself isn't exciting, I'm watching a smoldering house for twelve hours on Thursday and Friday (though I might have some company on Friday), and might watch one in Tumbler on the weekend after the mall hours, since I'm all superhuman and don't need sleep and shit. Shoppers is still a pile of dull, but some of the night shift people are sort of interesting. The one big cashier chick would make a great angry black woman, and I got to leanr all sorts of things about makeup. Shut up, it makes the time go by a little faster.
Bought Dr. Strangelove today, and have pretty high hopes for it. I think I'll probably go watch that if I can't think of anything more interesting to write in a few minutes.
Oh, hanging out with a real Kerouac-hippy guy tomorrow night, or would be if I wasn't going to flake out in order to be able to wake up early enough to get to the site. He gave me some acid once, and is new to town, so I figured I'd introduce him to a girl or something. It never hurts to hook up potential hookups.
I actually have a bit more to say, but I want to watch this movie, so fuck you guys. Go learn to read on Facebook or something. I guess it at least has the word book in it.
Bought Dr. Strangelove today, and have pretty high hopes for it. I think I'll probably go watch that if I can't think of anything more interesting to write in a few minutes.
Oh, hanging out with a real Kerouac-hippy guy tomorrow night, or would be if I wasn't going to flake out in order to be able to wake up early enough to get to the site. He gave me some acid once, and is new to town, so I figured I'd introduce him to a girl or something. It never hurts to hook up potential hookups.
I actually have a bit more to say, but I want to watch this movie, so fuck you guys. Go learn to read on Facebook or something. I guess it at least has the word book in it.
1.2.10
Oh wow, it's been like three whole days. I don't have much to write.
I was trying to talk myself out of something dumb, but I talked it out of it instead.
Real friendship is downloading almost a gig of child porn and putting it on a flash drive for someone who's internet is down. (yes, I know I'll probably go to hell for it anyway)
I don't really have anything else to say. It's been dull for a few days now.
I was trying to talk myself out of something dumb, but I talked it out of it instead.
Real friendship is downloading almost a gig of child porn and putting it on a flash drive for someone who's internet is down. (yes, I know I'll probably go to hell for it anyway)
I don't really have anything else to say. It's been dull for a few days now.
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